dazed1269
Silver
Reged: 06/21/08
Posts: 65
Loc: CT
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So today was one of "My" days with the kids . Since the debacle I have really been concentrating on them. We went swimming , to the park to feed the ducks , on the playscape ..ect. Thay had , at least what i think was great time. But the whole day I was omni present, kinda there watching and making sure that things went right, but never at one point did I feel any pleasure.I wanted so bad to share the the day with her . The one whe dispatched me to this unforgiving pain.
Funny thing is after the day was over we (my kids) talked, I was told by my oldest (12) that he likes the new Dad. I spend more time with them, I don't yell as much and he\they wish they could have more time with me. Well... that made me feel great!!! But as time wore on , as it does ,I began to have those "What if" feelings again. What if I didn't work so much , what if I was more emotionaly available, what if I gave more more flowers... what if. Well I'll tell you as much as i'm hurting right now (and today was one of those days , and you all know what i mean) my kids have once again saved me. I was at my lowest(again) and some how they did it again. I'm pretty young... (at heart) and the people who I still wipe gave me some of the best support. Funny how that "Karma" thing is,...is it not.
By the way this is probably the least "Mopey" post that I have made . That in in itself feels pretty damn good.
Whats up sandersa.
PS ... I can't type for s**t.
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phyzguy
Platinum
Reged: 05/15/08
Posts: 356
Loc: Cali
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Your kids are awesome! :) And I'm glad they see you as a wonderful daddy. You know, kids are brutally honest, and you should feel like a first place man for hearing such a comment. Keep on pluggin' away.
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Tibi ipsi esto fidelis
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Robfrommichigan
Platinum
Reged: 12/13/06
Posts: 1402
Loc: Reality Sux.
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Thank god for the kids, eh??
If it weren't for mine I'd be bak out in California living miserably somewhere @ malibu beach..yes, that would be most horrific.
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Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why it's called the present.
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NHTom
Platinum
Reged: 06/10/08
Posts: 402
Loc: New Hampshire
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Gotta echo how kids can save my/your heart. I could be in pieces and offspring comes into view. They're forever a part of you, and you them. They need love and they give love. And, they're innocent.
What more could a broken heart want but to be called to love again?
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So much to forget...
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redchair
Gold
Reged: 06/21/08
Posts: 122
Loc: Boston
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It's funny - the few friends that I have that are divorced always say "well, this was all very painful, but at least he/she gave me (insert kids' names). I never got to that point intentionally (him being an addict and all) but sometimes when I hear people talking about their children, it makes me ache for children of my own to love like that. What a blessing you guys must have...
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boobaby
Platinum
Reged: 05/01/07
Posts: 296
Loc: mass
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Dazed,
Don't beat yourself up over the would've, could've, should've scenario. We all go thru that stage and make ourselves even more depressed over it. Look at the bright future you will have with your children. They are such a blessing to us and bring joy to our lives when we need it the most.
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