PainedPatty
Platinum
Reged: 01/28/08
Posts: 664
Loc: Southern California
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My stbx is with his son today, celebrating my step-grandson's second birthday. It feels so wrong that I am not there with them. I am here packing up our marital home, while he goes up north to do the family thing and party. Some days just make me feel really lonely.
Patty
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scbeck
Platinum
Reged: 12/29/07
Posts: 825
Loc: New Brunswick Canada
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(((hugs))) Patty. I'm sorry you are feeling down. This has to be the worse part of divorce. I feel it when my stbx and his GF are doing family things with his side that I am now excluded from. Wish I could come over and help you in your packing, maybe have a drink or 2 to pass the time.
Christine
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This is the first day of the rest of my life. Or maybe tomorrow will be.
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tookway2much
Platinum
Reged: 03/31/08
Posts: 627
Loc: Going toward the light!
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PainnedPatty,,, I'm truly sorry your having a bad day. My day to has been a bit of an upset. I realize that when the instructions read " 2 adults", it's because extra hands are really needed. I bought my daughter a trampoline w/enclosure for Christmas. Just now getting around to putting it up. I wish I could say times like this I really miss my s2bX, however he wouldn't have been around anyway.
Once you become accustom to this new hurdle you will be one step closer to being better. Right now we are alright, but soon we will be better.
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I don't worry about the people in my past. There is a reason they are not in my future.
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mrpat
Platinum
Reged: 09/12/07
Posts: 2618
Loc: Michigan
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Hang in there Patty. This is one of the hardest parts of divorce. The things we must give away for none of our own choosing. However as you move forward many new things will open up for you. It happens to all of us one way or another, so just know your not alone and we all care for you and feel your pain.
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People don't care how much you know.........until they know how much you care.
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phyzguy
Platinum
Reged: 05/15/08
Posts: 282
Loc: Cali
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Patty-
I am so sorry. I know that the loneliness is too much sometimes, especially if you are used to many voices in your house. Are there any friends in town you can call and hang out with?
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Peace comes from simply knowing you will find the answer
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Cari115
Platinum
Reged: 06/11/07
Posts: 1788
Loc: Not where I thought I'd be
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(((hugs))) Sending you positve vibes. Things will get better once you get all moved out and into your new wonderful home. One day at a time.
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She's figured out all her doubts were someone else's point of view - Green Day
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cwag
Platinum
Reged: 07/06/07
Posts: 783
Loc: way down south
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o patty, i feel your sorrow from here. it's one thing to lose an x but another thing altogether to be apart from the rest of the family...
hope today is a better day for you.
hang in there. it really will get better....
sending you a big hug from down south
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there will come a time when you believe everything is finished. that will be the beginning.
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What will I lose
Platinum
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 705
Loc: PA
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[quote]My stbx is with his son today, [/quote]
not having kids, let me ask everyone something..when you divorce, does the kid not be 'our' son anymore ? I had to think for a moment when you said "his" son...then realized you meant he's your son too (i assume). tiny thing but just got me wondering if you intentionally try to omit 'joint' names in the future or i'm looking into this too much :)
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call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.
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PainedPatty
Platinum
Reged: 01/28/08
Posts: 664
Loc: Southern California
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He's not my son. My stbx is my second husband and I am his third wife. I have 2 kids from my first marriage and his son is from his second wife. We have no children together. So, because they don't live near me, I probably won't have any relationship with them. On the other hand, my granddaughters have accepted my stbx as their grandfather since birth. They live nearby and he will continue to be involved with them and he will be invited to family events. He has actually been more involved with my kids than he has with his own son, but that is changing now. Having all these "step" relationships can get very complicated and also can add to the sense of loss as you are not only losing your spouse, but probably most of his family as well. For example, the only one in his family who acknowledged my 65th birthday was his mother, who is 93 years young. His sister, son, etc. simply ignored it.
Patty
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