VexedDad
New
Reged: 06/29/08
Posts: 7
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If she refuses to let you take the kids for your visitation, would calling the police help? Would they escort you when you try to pick them up as long as you have documentation?
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Hanging in there...
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3237
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[quote]If she refuses to let you take the kids for your visitation, would calling the police help? Would they escort you when you try to pick them up as long as you have documentation? [/quote]
Is the court order specific or vague? An example of specific, the ncp gets the child every 2nd and 3rd week-end beginning at 5 pm on Friday. An example of vague, every other week-end.
Cops can only enforce specific orders and sometimes they won't even enforce it even then. But they can document (via a police report) that she refused to give you the kids for your parenting time. And that police report can be admitted into court when you file contempt of court charges against your ex.
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theanswerguy
Platinum
Reged: 04/12/07
Posts: 2147
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What state ?
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. Isaac Asimov
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jersey girl
Platinum
Reged: 08/07/06
Posts: 1514
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If it is specific, they will help you. But, if she refuses and states that the agreement is not specific, she will not be forced to give up the kids.
Bring your certified paperwork. Get the report and file an emergency motion immediately the next week to deal with it.
Unfortunately, the police not doing anything is empowering to the person that is playing games. The police will tell you that they cannot enforce a civil order. But, the courts require them to have tried.
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chatter box
Platinum
Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 1196
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[quote] Would they escort you when you try to pick them up as long as you have documentation? [/quote]
The first part is getting them to try to enforce the order. If the police will make an attempt then they will controle the situation and keep you back to reduce the risk of an argument. Keep in mind that she can say no to them and they can't do anything but make a report, so do not get to upset. It's just part of the game. She will feel like she is the one in controle if that does happen and it may get worse, so document everything and get copies of the reports.
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eiram
Silver
Reged: 06/23/08
Posts: 95
Loc: Indiana
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Please also keep in mind...the children seeing the police can be traumatic. Sorry she is not following the order. Make sure to file contempt charges.
Good luck!
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to my ex - what goes around, comes around. you'll get yours...
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katiebear22
Silver
Reged: 11/04/06
Posts: 58
Loc: Texas
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I absolutely understand where you're coming from. We are supposed to pick up my stepson tomorrow, and she has already threatened to a) leave the country with him and b) keep him away until they throw her in jail... neither threat really holds water since he doesn't have a passport, and I know she doesn't want to make it a police issue at all, but it still doesn't make us feel very good about tomorrow's pickup. Please keep us posted... I would love to know how the situation plays out. Good luck to you!
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"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."
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Highroad
Bronze
Reged: 06/12/08
Posts: 40
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calling the police should be a last resort. When I say last resort, I mean that you have tried everything to pickup the child before calling police, including calling the ex.
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EZmark
Platinum
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 292
Loc: Florida
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It is simple cut and dry. The police have to respond when called. Call them when 10 min away. Wait a few houses down the street in your car. Have a discreet video tape rolling in your car. Tell the police you expect a possible domestic violence incident and want them present to prevent it. Have your paperwork with you, give a copy to the police. They will have you knock on the door and/or call her. If non responsive they will call or knock. If she is not there or refuses insist that there be a report of the attempt. Be nice and explain to the officer that you only want to spend time with your children and she is preventing you. Do not argue or even talk to her, just take the kids and go no matter what she says to the cops. Say thankyou to the cops and telll the kids the cops are nice and were there to help you, if they are ever in trouble they should call the police. Kids should not be afraid of the police or there are deeper more complicated problems.File a motion for contepmt and attach a copy of the police report. You will need to subpeona the officer to predicate the report at court time. In the motion you can ask for attorneys fees and court costs, that you'll have 50% chance of getting. The judge will tell her not to do that or next time something more will happen. If you use an attorney itwill cost you 1-2K out of pocket. Not much satisfaction in return. If she does it again go back to sentence three. OTOH if she does it enough times and you file each time it can be a basis for custody modification. You need to feel the judge out at the first hearing to know if ot's worth trying for that. You could ask in the motion for supervised transfer where you both bring them to the courthouse for exchanges to avoid having to bother the cops each time, after the third time they won't like being pulled away from the Dunkin for your little problem, and a judge won't like it either.
BUT if YOU deny HER time you will be fined and have your visitation time decreased, repeatedly and you will spend some time in jail. You understand that the court can't do that to a mother with kids to take care of don't you?
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3110
Loc: Colorado
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KGrow agrees with eiram. Police are not the right kind of hammer for this type of screw.
File for contempt and request that the orders be changed to do exchanges through a neutral third party.
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