ipso
Bronze
Reged: 05/21/08
Posts: 44
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Hi everyone, ipso here.
Well, the long silence between stbx and I following the separation has been broken, and not by me. It's a long sad story, but the high points of it were that when we starting seeing each other in 2004, she offered to pay me to marry her so that she could get her immigration papers. I refused, and the topic never came up again. However, she did keep pressuring me and threatening to leave to find someone who would marry her (for money) and finally in 2006 I gave in. Married life was good at first, but then became rougher and rougher until more often than not she would not come home at night. Six months pre-separation we went to a marriage counselor at my insistence. I did all of the talking. Her petition for conditional permanent residency was 1/13 of this year. It was approved, and a week later she was gone. That was the last I heard from her until last Tuesday, when she called to tell me she was sending a separation agreement and basically ordered me to sign it. On a related note, it was weird to hear her talk to me as if I were the same person I was 6 months ago, who she could boss around and cajole into doing well, about anything.
Anyhow, the separation agreement came on Friday, and it was filled with various lies, the most egregious of which was probably the assertion that we separated 6/19... just shy of 5 months after the actual separation.
Needless to say, I'm not signing that piece of trash. But seeing it there has got my dander up just enough to do what I've been unwilling to do in the 5 months since the separation-- fight her. She's defrauded me, she's defrauded the government in my name, and I'll no longer have anything to do with it. I'm going to see a lawyer this week and file for annulment on the basis of marital fraud. I was hesitant to do this before because in my mind I still loved her and didn't want to hurt her. But I realize now that whatever comes of this will be the consequences of her actions, and thanks to her those are no longer my problem.
So look out, ipso's on the warpath.
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One must want nothing to be different... not only to bear what is necessary, but to love it.
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germangirl631
Platinum
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 876
Loc: NJ
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Wow, ipso. Sorry to hear about the deception. If you can get your marriage annulled based on fraud, does she get deported? It might be expensive to do, so you need to think about whether or not getting even is worth it. I agree it's not fair to defraud the US (or your husband, for that matter!). Unfortunately, it happens all the time. I wish you all the luck and persistence in your quest.
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ipso
Bronze
Reged: 05/21/08
Posts: 44
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<quote>
It might be expensive to do, so you need to think about whether or not getting even is worth it.
</quote)
GG, I thought along the same lines for a while, but it's not about getting even, it's about getting some of my dignity back. Whatever happens to her is her problem.
And yes, if her marriage was annulled for any reason she would lose her status and become deportable. Whether they would actually put her in deportation proceedings is another matter, and I don't really know.
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One must want nothing to be different... not only to bear what is necessary, but to love it.
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ATVILLAS
Platinum
Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 2284
Loc: Lost in the post D maze!!
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I got my Green card through marriage, not arranged I might add. After 2 years of conditional residency she will have to prove she is still married to you. She will need to provide letters from joint friends, bills in both names and even wedding pictures. I went through all this prior to getting a 10 year card.
We ended up married for over 10 years so I am OK now but chances are she will be turned down and perhaps even charged.
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Help someone smile today!!!
Welcome to paradise!!!
Edited by ATVILLAS (06/30/08 10:38 AM)
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brokenup
Silver
Reged: 05/23/08
Posts: 50
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I don't blame you at all for feeling this way. She took advantage of you, used you, etc. Sorry you have to deal with this crap, but don't sign that paper at all. I know you said you won't, which is good, but considering all the lies in it, don't even touch it. Sounds like she is a controlling person, and she probably figures she can continue to do that regardless, but thankfully you aren't letting that happen, good for you!
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Andrea
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germangirl631
Platinum
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 876
Loc: NJ
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Wow, AT. That's great advice! ispo might not have to do anything! She'll just stew in her own twisted life.
Ipso, maybe you should get the divorce done quickly so there's no way you'll be married at 2 years.
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ipso
Bronze
Reged: 05/21/08
Posts: 44
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I only wish I could get the divorce done quickly. However, in this state you have to have been separated for a year before you can file for divorce. And unlike my stbx, I DO have reservations about lying to the court.
No waiting period for annulment though, as far as I know.
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One must want nothing to be different... not only to bear what is necessary, but to love it.
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