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Even if I'm just a lackey, I'm officially part of the kingdom!! My stbx had texted me a nasty message about "stop pumping my friends and family for information about me. And stop using DS for your bullshit"
I was so tempted to write back and ask WTH he was talking about, and thought better of it. I just tried to ignore the whole issue. There was a time about 3 weeks ago when no one knew the whereabouts of stbx, and i actually thought he might be dead. I did call his grown son, his best friend and his parents that day and no one had heard from him. Well, I guess he finally spoke to his best friend and they told him I was asking about him. Why does he have to assume I'm pumping people for information? Why aren't I allowed to be concerned? What's he so paranoid about?
In a way, it's funny. Here I was concerned that stbx was dead. I really don't know if there is anyone where he lives that would know how to contact his family if he were dead. So, I'm showing concern, and he assumes I'm probing them for information. I could care less what he's doing, unless my son is involved. But, my son isn't going to get involved until he releases information about where he lives, is there a place for son to sleep, where son would be during month long visit if stbx is working, etc. The only person I know of who really knows where he lives is his sister, and I haven't called her yet. I probably won't either.
No contact is hard if you need information but don't want to ask for it. Stbx should stand up, be a man, and offer the information to the courts so we can get a visitation schedule setup. I won't release my son to go out of state with him until that happens. Its frustrating because I want DS to have visitation with his father. I just need to know that he's safe when he's there, and that he will be returned home appropriately. There's nothing ordered, and I can't trust stbx to be responsible when I haven't seen any responsibility from him for almost 2 years.
welcome to my kingdom. here is your tiara (for membership) your duct tape (in CASE you start to break 'no contact') and a bottle of wine (because, well, it's yummy and relaxing! :) ) i will bump up the original thread so you can officially join.
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