gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 4836
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Anniversaries are always tough, adn this is the anniversary of the part where I remember you finally seemed to let go and recognize that this was not all just a bad dream. for you, I suspect, the anniversary of driving her to the airport is the same as my own anniversary of meeting my ex at the courthouse to file the papers together. We were being friendly, amicable... but we were filing for DIVORCE! The first year's anniversary was important. It's been 15 years and I don't even remember what date it was.... come to think of it, my second wedding date might have been somewhere close to it... same season, you know?
You can expect anniversaries to bring on wistful feelings of wondering what might have been, wishing that ... hmmm, what? Wishing that the dreams you had might have been possible? Wishing that you'd not wasted so much time on impossible dreams? I don't know. It's odd, disconcerting. It throws you back into feeling like you're the only one in the world who feels this, you'll never be able to move one, etc., etc.
But you're right, every one of these little upsets passes quicker & quicker, and before you can say, "boo", you'll find an anniversary passing and not even remember it. You're halfway there. I hope you have a great time on your sabbatacal, and come back refreshed and interested in everything again... and totally happy that your ex is not around to mess things up with her moodiness!
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kent
Platinum
Reged: 06/13/07
Posts: 2967
Loc: a melted glacier
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pinkrose -- what was that? No contact? Yep... I hear you, and agree. Do not worry, I have not contacted her, just tempted.
Gigi -- thanks. You are right. For me the driving her to the airport was the true end. Even when we negotiated the divorce, signed the papers, or when I got my copy mailed to me .... it felt like it could still get worked out.
Taking her to the airport .... it was done. (of course ... it would seem for her it was the reverse).
I have made sure I have something to do EVERY day this week. Keep myself occupied. Taking my folks out to eat, tomorrow dinner and a free concert with friends, etc. etc. etc. I am hosting a bbq soon again too. Figure if I can have a painful anni., I can also have one to celebrate.
Time to simply suck it up and take my medicine. Take it between the eyes and move on. Ever on, ever forward.
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Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.
Dr. Seuss
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scbeck
Platinum
Reged: 12/29/07
Posts: 818
Loc: New Brunswick Canada
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Kent I hope you don't take this the wrong way but I am glad to hear that you still have some of these feelings and so apparently do others here. I am about 8 months in and a few months ago I was finally feeling like I had let go emotionally(except for the anger over the mess I am still in) but every once in a while I will have a disturbing thought like wishing I could just have things back the way they were- even as bad as they were. Considering how good it feels to be able to live like I want to and not be walking on egg shells all the time WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME???
And yet I think I might have even come to a fork in the road and started to accept that being civil with his GF for our daughter's sake is the way to go. Some days I can seem like I have it so together and others I am such a mess. When do I finally get some peace of mind like Mari and Nish and Gigi?
I'm looking forward to the great life that I hope is ahead of me. I know there is one ahead of you too Kent. Maybe this time next year you won't have thought about your ex for at least 200 days.
Kent I hope you have a great trip and make sure you post lots of pics on Facebook.
Christine
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This is the first day of the rest of my life. Or maybe tomorrow will be.
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kent
Platinum
Reged: 06/13/07
Posts: 2967
Loc: a melted glacier
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Don't worry -- I will post Iceland photos on facebook.
Since the first is bothering me ... (which I did not expect) ... I am being preemptive. I have signed up for an event on our actual wedding anniversary. Just making sure I am busy.
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Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.
Dr. Seuss
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