gcp2000
New
Reged: 07/01/08
Posts: 4
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My ex ask me to agree to allow her to take my child to live over 400 miles away because she wants to accept an internship for cooking. She went to a culinary school in our area. She wants me to agree to letting her take my child with her and I would see her only for a month in the summer. Presently I see her 2 to 3 weekends a month. She has threatened to go back to court to get what she wants. Can she have the agreement we made in court changed to accomdate her wishes if I don't want to?
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melanie14
Platinum
Reged: 03/11/06
Posts: 3057
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tell her she can see your child one month in the summer and you will have primary custody!
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3241
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She's in for a surprise if she goes to court to get what she wants.
The courts may not allow the child to move. And if they do, she may end up paying all of the transportation costs. And you will get the majority of the summer, not just one month. And you will get most of the school breaks.
And if they don't allow the child to move, you get custody and she gets the above.
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gcp2000
New
Reged: 07/01/08
Posts: 4
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I thought it would go somewhere along those lines, but I was not sure. Thank you.
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melanie14
Platinum
Reged: 03/11/06
Posts: 3057
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So she is basically threatening herself..now that is funny! She'll be wondering where you get all your answers..that's funny too. We are here to help you out!
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eiram
Silver
Reged: 06/23/08
Posts: 98
Loc: Indiana
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if she can show that she is going to advance herself and make a better living, the judge will not hold her back. my X filed a restraining order on me not to remove the children from the state of IN to move to FL. i had a huge career opportunity and the judge let the restraining order go and allowed me to move the kids with me.
if you want to try to stop her, file a restraining order from removing the child from the state. most states the custodial parent has to file with the court to move out of state anyways. this will buy you some time to make your defense, show why the child is better to stay where she is (your family, mother's family, schools, sport teams, etc.) and that mom is not going to advance her current situtation for the better...sounds like she is going on a whim to me. from my understanding interns do not make a whole lot.
i am sorry this is happening to you. i don't want to be the downer about it....but it did work out in my case cause i was moving to make more money and improve the financial situtation the children were in. i wanted to tell you why i was able to do it. (plus X was an abuser and had anger issues)
good luck!
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to my ex - what goes around, comes around. you'll get yours...
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2128
Loc: Hell...but im coming back up, ...
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yeah.
im not sure it's super cut and dry either.
IF she can show she's going to make a better situation for her and her child they might let her go.
but you will get a bigger part of the summer and of vacations.
im not saying it will go either way,
but
i dont think it's more than a 50/50 shot in either direction.
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taryn.
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EZmark
Platinum
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 292
Loc: Florida
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1. File an immediate restraining order only asking to keep the kids in this courts jurisdiction and follow the courts previous order. let them know it's a whim she intends tp pursue in violatioon of the courts order. This will give the court the idea what she wants to pull.
Line up a good attorney and wait for her to file a motion to modify.
2. Prepare an answer to her coming motion that"
a- Lists alll the reasons the kids should stay local.
b- Offers to provide everything the kids have now and more with you as as the primary, and help insure her visitation if she goes, giving the judge an alternative to give her the OK to go and you the primary custody,. Judges like to give or take from both parties, they think that is justice regardless of who is morally right.
4. Ask for an emplyment eval. (contact someone now, they cost $1K and need to be reserved for court). They will do a market analysis to show what the actual difference in opportunities and earnings are between the two places, not much I'll bet, especially for an intern.
5. Alleges that this is a whim not a necessity and ask to recover your legal fees and expenses of the action to protect the kids and your relationship with them as established by the court.
6. restate the la's requirements that she has to prove to move and why she hasn't done so.
My opinion only, I'm not a lawyer. IMO run it by a few attroneys with the 1/2 hr free consult. I agree that you should not have a problem keepingyour child nearby especially if you are current with CS and visitation ( I hate that word!), but a 'good' attorney on either side can make the court accomodate their wishes.
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gcp2000
New
Reged: 07/01/08
Posts: 4
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The difference is that this is not a huge career opportunity. She can, with time find the same type of opportunity in this area. She is going to intern at a restaurant. There are plenty of great restaurants in the San Francisco Bay Area that we now reside in. I don't think she has even explored this. My guess is that after she finished school, the school provided restaurants to contact. She chose one that was more than 4 to 5 hundred miles away. She will be interning. It's not as if she was offered the position of head chef, or assistant head chef at a prestigious restaurant. Also, who knows how long this might last. She basically will be on probation. If they don't like her work she could be out of there in a month or two. I think it comes down to her decided whether she wants to sacrifice time with her daughter, and move far away, or find something in the area and keep the same arrangement.
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eiram
Silver
Reged: 06/23/08
Posts: 98
Loc: Indiana
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i agree with taryn...it's a 50/50 shot....but seems worth it. definately go with the restraining order...and proceed from there. keep us posted.
good luck!
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to my ex - what goes around, comes around. you'll get yours...
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