kris_fla
Silver
Reged: 07/01/08
Posts: 70
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married, moved, could not take daughter with us, switched to Secondary, ex denied child support from me. returned a year ago with natural triplets w/lots of medical issues, new hubby works 2 jobs, firefighter/paramedic, I stay at home w/triplets (my work history is waitress). ex resentful of my return, started playing games w/visitation, I initiated a modification change, now he has decided he needs child support after 4 years. I do contribute, I buy clothes, shoes, school supplies, I know how to get a lot for a little with what extra money we do get our hands on. We go to court ordered mediation the end of this month, can he get child support after all of this time and under my current situation w/my 23 mos. old triplets? I married new hubby after we moved, can they take from his pay to pay my child support? he and his wife make double our income, very frivolous with their cash.
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Seize the day. Remember all of those women on the Titanic who waved off the desert cart. E. Bombeck
Edited by kris_fla (07/02/08 12:01 AM)
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jersey girl
Platinum
Reged: 08/07/06
Posts: 1517
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Can he get child support yes? Will your triplets figure in? Maybe, maybe not, but your first child will come first on your income - not your new husband.
Keep track of what you are spending. Be prepared for court.
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kris_fla
Silver
Reged: 07/01/08
Posts: 70
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thank you for responding....There is no way that I can work. My hubby's second job pays for our health insurance and I can never make waitressing what my husband makes between his two jobs. Two of the triplets are neutropenic (their bodies cannot fight off infections), 3 hospitalizations in the last 6 mnths, there is no way they can go to daycare, they can't even enjoy parks,etc. will I be forced to somehow work, my husband gets one day off a week
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Seize the day. Remember all of those women on the Titanic who waved off the desert cart. E. Bombeck
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 4842
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The courts will attribute a reasonable income to you, and based upon that they'll order you to pay support. Your first child deserves support whether or not your first husband was willing to decline it on the kid's behalf, which he probably should not have done. I'm sorry to hear that your triplets have health problems, but that does not mean you still don't have an obligation to the first child.
And to make sure you pay that obligation, you probably need to not buy the little incidentals any more. You need to pay it as if it was really support, in dollars through teh support enforcement agency so that it all gets counted. it's nice that you know how to bargain hunt, and that's a great skill to share with whoever is your current husband, but you have no right to try to force your former husband to accept some bargain basement or goodwill clothing in lieu of $50 worth of cash that could be used to put food on the table... and you can't require him to accept food bank cheese if he wants to provide organic vegetables on that table...
There's a woman on here whose ex wants to pay $50 a month (which would be a huge raise) for a teen, and wants part of that to be in the form of school supplies, because apparently he thinks he can buy tennis shoes for $10 a pair and that will last through the school year. It's quite possible that the "wardrobe" the father provides in lieu of support will end up sitting in the kid's closet all year because ... well, teens are a little picky, plus Mom will ahve to buy more to supplement the stuff that Dad gets for him, so if Mom spends $30 on a pair of shoes and $25 on a pair of jeans, do you think the kid si going to wear the $10 shoes and the $7.50 jeans? So the "bargain hunting" in lieu of child support is just a sham... it's not actually helping the child at all. And it's quite possible the kid will feel embarassed at the quality of his father's shopping for him... You really dont' want to have to face this issue as your oldest gets older and starts to realize what's happening, why she has a bunch of poorly fitting stuff in her closet every eyar when school starts, for example... or why there's bargain brand toothpaste in the closet while her Dad & stepmom tell her to use the floride enhanced Crest that they supply.
If the child support obligation is supposed to be $100 a month, it's not fair for you to say you'll give him $50 a month and shopping services to stretch that out. It's HIS decision what to spend that $100 a month on.
But before you get worried about it, put a reasonable waitress income into the formula along with his income and the parenting time that you have. You might find that the support amount isn't even as much as you've been spending to this point. And if he insists on getting $$ for support instead of THINGS, then give it to him. Stop buying the THINGS... let Dad do it.
I'm not trying to be heartless. It's just that... well, if there were a man on here who said he moved away when he divorced, leaving his child with the higher-earner mother and not paying any support, whatsoever... and now he's back with new triplets who have health problems and his ex wants support now but he can't afford any ... well, I think there'd be about 50 women or so jumping down the poor guy's throat about not supporting his child. Your situation is no different just because you are a woman.
I'm not jumping down your throat, just reminding you how you'd feel if the tables were turned and it was HIM who was trying to not pay support and YOu who were the primary parent.
Plug the numbers into the formula and see what kind of numbers you're looking at before you get too worried. And no, they probably will NOT be able to get your husband's wages garnished in order to pay it... and they can not force you to work... but they CAN order you to pay... and you will have to pay from WHATEVER SOURCE you have... if you work for it, then fine... if you work JUST long enough to earn enough to pay it because your husband's 2 jobs pay enough to make things work for your new family, then fine... if you choose not to work then you'll have to ask your husband to pay it for you or else you'll end up being in contempt... or maybe you can find it somewhere else... they won't force you to work, but they will force you to pay...
Because whether or not you can afford it, the kid still ahs to eat.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3240
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You won't be forced to work, but you will be imputed income. Since there are serious medical issues with your triplets, that may be taken into consideration when it comes to child support. You may get a deviation for that, how much is hard to say.
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kris_fla
Silver
Reged: 07/01/08
Posts: 70
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I don't find you cold hearted and I agree with your statement. It is my Ex's clothing/shoes that my child will not wear. You have under estimated the shopping ability of a woman with fashion sense and a Ross and TJ Maxx in her neighborhood! :O) My daughter wants to come back to residing w/us, there are several issues w/in my ex's household. The court will not consider her feelings, even at 11 yrs. I am asking for Joint Custody (60/40) at mediation. This allows my ex to maintain his need to control and forces my child and I to compromise but kind of get what we want. I have no issues w/ paying support, it's how he has went about it and his reasoning behind it. Can I pay 450$- $500 a month, no way, unless, I stop paying other bills and let lower bills go to collection, can I finagle, some how, 100 - 150$ a mos?, where there's a will there's a way, but my ex is going for my throat, being pro se, the cards are stacked against me. Thank you anyway for the response, it's appreciated.
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Seize the day. Remember all of those women on the Titanic who waved off the desert cart. E. Bombeck
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mrpat
Platinum
Reged: 09/12/07
Posts: 2618
Loc: Michigan
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Take what you get here with a grain of salt. Some posters have never experienced all the levels of economic status that some have faced. Never let anyone diminish your intentions to provide in a way that can be afforded by you.
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People don't care how much you know.........until they know how much you care.
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kris_fla
Silver
Reged: 07/01/08
Posts: 70
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Thanks! I can use those words right now...
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Seize the day. Remember all of those women on the Titanic who waved off the desert cart. E. Bombeck
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 4842
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If you get primary custody then the child support issue is no longer an issue, is it? I mean, your income, even if attributed to you as a standard waitress income, is lower than your ex's, right? So focus on the custody thing and not on the support thing.
And I'm not saying you need to buy Hollister for the child... rather, that you need to stop shopping at all for her if there is an outstanding child support obligation. Put the numbers into the formula used in your state. Is it the $450-$500 amount that you think it is? Not too likely. Not when he's got a reasonable income and your onw income is tiny... not when you've got 3 new little ones (only one of which was planned) two of whom are sick.
But your best bet is to focus on getting custody back in your favor or at least 50-50. Focus on waht's best for your child and put the dollars involved aside for a while... make certain the judge knows this is about your little girl's best interest and has nothing to do with you needing to ease up your household budget for your new family.
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FriendlyShldrs
Bronze
Reged: 05/06/07
Posts: 30
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Having looked at the Florida child support statutes, I'm seeing something a bit different than what others here have said.
According to the statutes themselves, "Income on a monthly basis shall be imputed to an unemployed or underemployed parent when such employment or underemployment is found to be voluntary on that parent's part, absent physical or mental incapacity or other circumstances over which the parent has no control. In the event of such voluntary unemployment or underemployment, the employment potential and probable earnings level of the parent shall be determined based upon his or her recent work history, occupational qualifications, and prevailing earnings level in the community; however, the court may refuse to impute income to a primary residential parent if the court finds it necessary for the parent to stay home with the child."
I don't see how a trier of fact (judge, etc.) is going to say that you've staying home from a job as a waitress mainly because you want to or that your new children's health is something you have control over. You can't make your new children able to withstand germs. And, not meaning to be rude, but I don't see how what you could make as a waitress would really help your ex.
It's not about not wanting to support your child, it's about what you're able to do. I realize we don't have all the same information that would be available in court but you can't give what you don't have. Unless you have more training and/or education than what you're saying, I don't see a huge amount of income being imputed.
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