germangirl631
Platinum
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 808
Loc: NJ
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OMG. Could you imagine if God forbid, she got pregnant or something? Now that would make for an interesting twist in the divorce.
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What will I lose
Platinum
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 705
Loc: PA
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never got preg before...doubt can now...
and get this..her one relative called and she was in the other room (has to know i can hear)...and she said how terrible it was living her and both our atty better get act in gear
so now i'm even more resolved to get in my attys ass
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call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.
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What will I lose
Platinum
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 705
Loc: PA
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as the world turns
now her mom says she will be here 'sometime' between the 5th and 13th....what gamesmanship...she agreed last time to call the night before now is saying a weeks notice is her notice and she wont call anymore
i'm realizing more and more than my wife is really sentenced to a life of hell having to deal with and see her mom so much again...the gamesmanship is pathetic...
i hope she takes her back home to look at that trailer she found and just moves my wife right in :)
my wife has told me NO good night kisses while her mom is here since her mom's the one that said 'you dont know what he's been doing with what women" and you will catch something (hardly thru kissing is that even possible lol)
i didnt ask , but assumed my wife didnt want me to tell her mom we had secks too lol
now her mom will prob [censored] that it's 100 in the bedroom upstairs and ill just say oh well, you are coming in summer...it's hot, what do you expect..i thought 65 was too cool for you in winter :)
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call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.
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What will I lose
Platinum
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 705
Loc: PA
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too funny..she asked her mom to let her know what day she is coming..her mom said ' YOU TELL HIM ILL COME WHEN I WAKE UP AND THERE IS NO RAIN AND I FEEL LIKE IT'
i told wife it's sad that ur mom goes on this power trip..but then again, i have one week of her, you have the rest of your life with her. (point made)
oh the funny thing is after her mom told my wife to make ME do both 8 hour drives she said SHE will do them both now...come here, stay few days..take wife back to look at trailer..then in a day bring her back and stay a while...
wonder why her tune changed? lol....
i told her i wont eat anything her mom makes since she never washes her hands and we both got sick last time and my wife actually had to go to the ER! and i really hate when her mom sits on the sofa and scrathes her crotch too or her boobs...just icky!
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call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.
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tiredofnagging
Gold
Reged: 05/09/08
Posts: 133
Loc: Las Vegas, NV USA
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[quote]=============================================================
of course i care about credit but isnt it safe to assume that since i did BK that my credit is at its lowest point and really cant get much worse? what is worse than bankruptcy?
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High 600's is NOT low. Mid-500's is low. I am not well versed WRT bankruptcy and all it entails, so I cannot comment about it, specifically. It was my understanding a bankruptcy adversely effects your credit, but my understanding is it would drop it down significantly moreso than the high 600's (more like in the 500's).
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plus since she literally has no credit cards in her possession now, she cant charge anyway so the point is really moot. If she gets new under her own name, i think any reasonable judge would say the stuff she puts on there is hers.
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What I'm saying is that if you two untie the knot and the decree says she has to pay for your CC debt and doesn't, they'll come after you. If you do not pay and she does not pay, they WILL give it to a collection agency and it WILL adversely affect YOUR credit. [/quote]
Like everything else, FICO scores have taken on new importance. Mid 600s used to be pretty good, now you need 700 to be considered for a mortgage with money down to get a decent rate. And that's even with HUD. Or the broker doing our re-fi is exaggerating. Right now money is tight. And mid 500s will get your interest on your credit cards jacked up, and if you're lste just once, forget sbout it. Car loans the same.
Never could understand why divorce has to ruin people's credit. Life goes on for both of you. Credit is so important to be able to maintain a lifestyle like home ownership, having a car, etc....My wife and I are low 700s for her and high 700s for me. We're able to pick and choose.
If it ever becomes spitsville each of us will survive. The pecking order of payment is motgsge, car, credit card, doctor bills last, Sorry docs, but insurance and medicare covers your nut, collecting copays sre grsvy. You gotta live after divorce. A trick my sister in law does is when she shops by debit, she's taken out extra cash and stashes it till her kids are 18 when her DH does't hsve to pay child dsupport. It adds up and almost impossible to know.
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This Too Shall Pass
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What will I lose
Platinum
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 705
Loc: PA
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[quote]
What I'm saying is that if you two untie the knot and the decree says she has to pay for your CC debt and doesn't, they'll come after you. If you do not pay and she does not pay, they WILL give it to a collection agency and it WILL adversely affect YOUR credit. [/quote]
i dont know if i stated this before but any part of any D agreement will be in regards to the 'credit' on the visa. For instance, our cat had a huge bill last year. Her half of it, i have no problem paying it all but i want credit against some other asset she normally would get 1/2 of etc. Thats how i'm totally gonna avoid her owing me 'anything' directly for the visa.
And she doesnt have any credit cards except on her account and she literally never charges anything at all. Being homebound and not using the internet, she really has nothing to buy. So the point is really moot at this point in time. And she doesnt wanna mess up our standing at the CU so wont risk never paying anything
[quote]
Like everything else, FICO scores have taken on new importance. Mid 600s used to be pretty good, now you need 700 to be considered for a mortgage with money down to get a decent rate. And that's even with HUD. Or the broker doing our re-fi is exaggerating. Right now money is tight. And mid 500s will get your interest on your credit cards jacked up, and if you're lste just once, forget sbout it. Car loans the same.[/quote]
ok well you dont know my CU so i cant expect that you knew the details of my case. they have never raise my credit card rate ever in 19 years. It's been 9.9 %. And the only other card i got was just for emergencies and that's a nice low fixed 7.9 now too. Havent charged a dime on it.
As far as car loans, i have no real 'loans' except what they call a share loan which is borrowing against your money for 2% rate. But you are paying yourself back so thats no biggie at all.
I guess i got luckier than most people because my BK was planned, i didnt do it on the spur of the moment. I was NEVER late before bk and only stopped paying when the atty told me to. So i really dont have a history of lates at all other than that. Maybe that helped me get a 680?
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call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.
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What will I lose
Platinum
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 705
Loc: PA
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i have more funny stories to tell. Last night i told her that her moms games are funny and pathetic. I said i bet she sits there talking with your sister plotting ways to piss me off. My wife then said no, no my sister...i ran thru some other names and finally without saying it, 'said' that it's her moms friend that sits down and literally plots against me. My jaw hurt from the grin on my face. Then again, what to 2 old ladies with nothing to do have to do but think of ways to try to 'get even' with me. so even my wife thinks what her mom is doing is nuts but she said she cant talk against her mom since she has to deal with her for the rest of her life.
here's another funny story...a friend from online had gone on vacation and send me a postcard and signed it with a heart. My wife saw the card and i told her it's my friend (who coincidentally is in words pain etc than my wife) and she probably just signs all cards with a heart.
well my wife went and told her mom and now they are convinced i'm dating this woman. I proceeded to tell my wife, nah, she's 1000 miles away and has kids and a deadbeat hubby that never pays child support and is still married so NO, i'm really not dating her..honest!
my wifes face turned white and she said i wish you told me that before i told my mom. I said why would you even tell your mom anything? now she said she will have to go back and tell her mom all this. It's too funny....this is like a soap opera
then we went to a fair for the last time yesterday and had a great time. my wife told her mom this. Then her mom said that he must be something to be treating you well all these months now. See my wife tells me that one time i was really mean to her and she told her mom. So thats ALL her mom sees in me. I guess she thinks i'm mean to her every day and yells and beats her up and is such a horrible guy. If she only knew we still kiss, sometimes have sex, and even go out and have fun at fairs and stores, she would have a fit. I thikn it's hilarious that she thinks all this.
my wife said she does try to stick up for me but it's hard because she has to keep her mom on her side. I said just tell her that it's too painful to talk about me and maybe she will stop
i asked my wife if i could put a sign up 'employees mush wash hands after using the bathroom' and she said no...darn! And get this, i found out her mom thinks I mad my wife sick because i kissed her last time her mom was visiting. UM NOOOO it's because you never wash your hands after using the bathroom you &&&&&&&&. So i told my wife i'm leaving clorox wipes out this time.
i forgot if i mentioned here that my wife got emailed pics of her new trailer..yea it's a dump but like she said, she cant afford much..i tossed out a number i may give her for the house and she said no that's not enough..i said well just hope the house appraises for more so i get more mortgage out!
so this part is gonna be fun. I can pay her a larger lump but she has to take less alimony. I cant wait for my atty appt this week to get all this moving.
her atty hasnt called her in 3 weeks. her mom is coming to yell at him next week. 4 hour trip to yell at atty...sad
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call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.
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What will I lose
Platinum
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 705
Loc: PA
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ok this is too funny...her mom called her atty and basically said if he doesnt call my wife back, she's gonna call (the bar or whoever)
soooo am i the only one here that thinks this guy is really gonna be in the mood to help my wife after being threatened? or do attys love to be threatened and work better that way?
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call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.
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What will I lose
Platinum
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 705
Loc: PA
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great news...i found out that my wifes sister had already checked out local drug stores and she said all of them have 4 dollar equivalents where she is moving. So that's great news and hopefully i wont have to worry about covering her since she has medicare and all the generics are available to her at a reasonable cost.
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call me WWIL...PA resident 39 year old , married 11 years, together 12...splitting in 13th year.
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2035
Loc: Hell...but im coming back up, ...
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this is a really LOOONG thread.
you post.
answer your own posts
and repeat.
this must be a very frustrating senario you
are in.
i hope for your own sanity this ends asap.
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taryn.
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