Divorce Support Forums: upcoming problem with summer visitation

Divorce Support Forums: upcoming problem with summer visitation

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chatter box
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Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 1228

upcoming problem with summer visitation
#214467 - 06/24/08 02:36 PM (66.180.116.13)

In six days my X's summer visitation starts. It defaulted on April 2nd to that because my X did request anything. In May we found out my daughter was recommended to have summer school and we both agreed she needed it. Summer school started June 6th and ends July 11th. X wants to move her visitation to start on July 11th after summer school gets out. She also wanted Thursday visits added in. I agreed to moving the 30 day visit but not the thursday's and also asked for my one weekend during her normal time. It is in the court order that I can request this by April 15th. That way I get one full week to do something. I do not ask for it but also didn't know about summer school. I asked for the weekend after her 30 days was up. She refused and wants the lawers to work it out. I told her ok but she would have to pay my lawer and up front because she owes me so much money. My question is if we haven't got anything worked out in six days then wouldn't her visitation start on June 1st and any lost time would be her fault and loss?

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chatter box
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Reged: 11/09/07
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Re: upcoming problem with summer visitation [Re: chatter box]
#216263 - 07/01/08 07:26 AM (76.185.29.10)

My daughter new when school got out that she was going to her moms on July 1st. Today is July 1st and my step daughter is going to her dads and my daughter wants to know what time today she is going to her moms. I asked mom yesterday "are you going to start your visitation on July 1st. I just need to know so I can get her things together." All I got back was to stop being demanding and that she is going to let her lawers advise her as what to do. My daughter called her last night because she wanted to know. I hadn't said anything yet but mom told her she didn't understand. Maybe I shouldn't have but my daughter wanted an explanation, so I let my daughter read that part of the order. It's clearly says July 1st to July 31st. She's eight and understood that. But now I have a daughter that is trying to figure out why mom isn't picking her up.

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jersey girl
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Reged: 08/07/06
Posts: 1571

Re: upcoming problem with summer visitation [Re: chatter box]
#216270 - 07/01/08 07:59 AM (67.184.99.218)

Ok - I get you are frustrated. Your ex is being a jerk. But letting your 8 yr old read your court docs?? Not good. Your parenting is much more than a court doc and you are trying to justify the fact that adults don't talk by blaming the courts and your ex.

You need to stay firm that you and mommy are trying to work it out but it is grown up stuff and you will let her know when it is done.

You need to tell her that you both love her and you are trying to make sure you do what is fair.

But you just made an adult of your eight year old. The court DOES NOT like when parents show kids the agreements.

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KGrow
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Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3153
Loc: Colorado

Re: upcoming problem with summer visitation [Re: jersey girl]
#216293 - 07/01/08 09:17 AM (24.8.144.220)

Wow, yeah, I'd say you both let your daughter down. Your ex is mistaken if she thinks she can get this worked through with the legal process in this time frame.

Someone needs to make a proposal here and that someone would be you. Rip the July page out of a calendar, mark it up and send it to your ex and to your ex's lawyer. Request they respond with a counter-proposal by Friday.

Tell your daughter that summer school threw a wrench into summer plans and you're (belatedly) working on it and that she will have time with her mom.

Edited by KGrow (07/01/08 09:26 AM)

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chatter box
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Reged: 11/09/07
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Re: upcoming problem with summer visitation [Re: KGrow]
#216520 - 07/02/08 09:12 AM (66.180.116.13)

Ok I agree that maybe I shouldn't have let her read the orders, but you also have to understand that my daughter gets so much confusion because my X lies about everything. I'm not just talking about a few things either but every single thing.

Now to what happened yesterday. I did send a fair offer over several weeks ago. She refused then. Yesterday I got a call from my lawer. They told him I wouldn't agree to anything then as he was reading the offer I told him that it was my offer I made three weeks ago. Not a problem so I agreed to it. That was easy. Then at 5:00 I got a call saying they changed there mind and wanted to go back to the standered agreement. At five oclock she dicided she wanted to start her visitation at 6:00 for 30 days. Yea right. I said ok but I wanted the time to start at 8:00 so I could get everything ready. The answer was no, I had to be at the police station in less then an hour or they were filing contempt on me. They say I'm un workable and not willing to agree to anything.

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