needadviceMS
New
Reged: 06/26/08
Posts: 18
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I wondered if anyone has had any experience in this? My husband's ex-wife was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Order by their marriage counselor. Her behavior since the divorce has included lots of drinking, men, and the need to put it on the internet.
Last fall, when she put a bizarre video of the seven year old on the internet (putting him in a too tight outfit and zooming in on his crotch - while he cried and she laughed) there was big sit-down. The kids' counselor, the dad, her, and the grandparents met. She agreed to start paying child support, go to parenting classes, and be supervised by her parents when visiting with the children.
So here is what the past six-months have been...her complaining about expenses and fighting every decision the father has made. She missed the follow-up appointment with the kids' counselor and it took her 3 months to get around to going to parenting classes. We really would like to deal with her as little as possible.
We have been putting money aside to go back to court. So before we even get into changing visitation orders - should we push for a psych evaluation for her? Will they talk to the previous counselor? Will they look at her myspace, photobucket, and her selling foot fetish videos? Or are they just go to get her side?
Thanks!
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jersey girl
Platinum
Reged: 08/07/06
Posts: 1571
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They will get what she allows them to see by release. You can introduce the videos, etc. As for the counselor, you can list him as someone you think should be talked to, and when she says no - it will be a red flag.
And yes - you need a psych eval right away.
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EZmark
Platinum
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 292
Loc: Florida
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You find the psych evaluator. Make sure they are a specialist in her disorders. The court may appoint someone who is a geriatric specialist and easily fooled by her. In your motion to compel COMPLETE psych eval include the person's CV and ask that she be compelled to see this person for an objective report to the court. You should be willing to pay for the exam, the court will balk at spending their money. You should have no other contact with the evaluator before the process begins except to find out fees and expertise. It would be better if someone (legal asst. did that, you could provide the asst. with name(s) to contact. Attach to the motion a picture or two of the worst from the internet to get the judge to realize the justification, keep the rest for later reveal. You will be interviewed as part of her eval as will others. At that time you can give all to the evaluator. The evaluator can look and weigh things that are not admissable as evidenc, and testify to them as well. Be careful with the court "approved" list of evaluators, they are not actually "approved" they are just approved to be on the list ie:looking for extra (and generally lower paying) work from the court. Try and get a Harvard or Yale type degree so if she hires her own gun to fire back it won't carry much weight. If the judge orders her to cooperate with a complete eval she will have to sign releases for her med records. See if you can get prescription records from anywhere. Taks pix of the med cabinet.
I'm not a lawyer so run it by yours.
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jersey girl
Platinum
Reged: 08/07/06
Posts: 1571
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EZ is dead on with the advice. Have NO contact with the evaluators prior to assignment other than fees. The other side will throw out anyone you speak to because they are perceived to be biased.
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golightly
Gold
Reged: 04/10/07
Posts: 141
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Although I'm no huge fan of Nancy Grace, I am apalled and distrubed in a Nancy-Grace kind of way at your description of the quasi-kiddie-[censored] video this woman made of your step child! If this isn't abuse, or a one-way ticket to abuse, I don't know what is! It's horrifying to me that you would need a psych eval to get the child away from this woman, given the video she made public. So sorry you're going through this - good luck to you!
You know, my husband's ex is close to insane, but I can't imagine her ever doing this sort of thing. Thanks for putting things into perspective for me!
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needadviceMS
New
Reged: 06/26/08
Posts: 18
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The police and DHS were disturbed, but pushed us to pursue this in court on our own. The attorney was more than willing, but my husband wanted to give her a chance with parenting classes and AA. It has only backfired.
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