liberated
Platinum
Reged: 10/02/07
Posts: 550
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So, I didn't want to hijack Weatherman's touching post about men and their children's birth but it got me to thinking. This is one of those "measure of a man" issues. My ex spent most of our first birth reading the paper in the corner. He missed the second one, his first son, altogether because he was out of town and it wasn't convenient for him to be there. The third one, he made business phone calls for church for most of. I don't even remember his presence at #4 and #5, although I know he was there. He did hold my hand at the very end, and I am grateful for that but for most of it, he was uninterested and just passed the time. I know he loves his kids and he said he loved me, but he sure never learned how to show it.
I love to read about the love these men here have for their children.
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Kimberley
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Robfrommichigan
Platinum
Reged: 12/13/06
Posts: 1389
Loc: Reality Sux.
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I know y guys do that, but....
Can't tell ya.
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Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why it's called the present.
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germangirl631
Platinum
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 875
Loc: NJ
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For my only birth, my stbx was out smoking with our neighbor most of the time (she's a woman). He even was so kind as to knock the call button off my bed while I was in labor on his way out to have a smoke so I couldn't call for pain killers while he was gone. So kind of him.
We hadn't yet settled on a name, and when DS was finally delivered by C-section, he held him in front of my face in the operating room and said "what should we name him???"
Now, I'm glad he was excited the baby was finally born, but I'm totally drugged up, split open from hip to hip, and not really thinking about baby names at this point in time.
I spend 2 nights in the hospital recovering from surgery, and stbx uses up all the frozen meals i had made ahead of time (for ME to use while learning to be a new mother at home) to feed his family that was visiting. How thoughtful. Offering his family home cooked meals. I was such a lucky lady!
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boobaby
Platinum
Reged: 05/01/07
Posts: 296
Loc: mass
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For the birth of my second daughter my ex actually dropped me off at the hospital and said to call him when I was ready to deliver. The nurse couldn't beleive that he was leaving me there by myself. Guess that should have been a red flag.
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liberated
Platinum
Reged: 10/02/07
Posts: 550
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[quote]For the birth of my second daughter my ex actually dropped me off at the hospital and said to call him when I was ready to deliver. The nurse couldn't beleive that he was leaving me there by myself. Guess that should have been a red flag. [/quote]
Amen! Red flags abound in hindsight, don't they?????
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Kimberley
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lettinggo
Platinum
Reged: 06/05/07
Posts: 582
Loc: Michigan
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I just don't understand why the heck we never saw these "red flags" early on? Jeesh...could of saved ourselves A LOT of hurt and heartache!!!
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Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go
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Clementine
Platinum
Reged: 10/07/07
Posts: 508
Loc: East Coast USA
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I missed alot of the flags too w/ my stbx but it is sweet that some Dad's treasure that moment as much as I know me as a Mom does. It really is a miracle.
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The way I see it..If you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain... d.parton
Love, Clem
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malone
Platinum
Reged: 12/30/07
Posts: 1865
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Mine was there for both of the births and he visited all the time. :-(
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pjgj13
Platinum
Reged: 07/08/07
Posts: 284
Loc: Ephrata, PA (soon to be Fraser...
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No kids here but I guarantee that I would have been there from the check-in until all was done. She would have been the 1st to hold the baby and I the 2nd.
Oh well, maybe the right person will come around and I still can do it......
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