julestn
Bronze
Reged: 06/14/08
Posts: 44
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Well….there are many ways of getting to a solution…may be the one you say is not the most appropriate one….but whatever….;-)
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scbeck
Platinum
Reged: 12/29/07
Posts: 851
Loc: New Brunswick Canada
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Malone when I met my stbx I actually made more than he did as he was a Master Corp in the military and I was an RN. Within a year however he was promoted to Sgt and his income overtook mine. Then after he was hurt after fighting together for his justified pensions he earned 3x as much as I did. As his PTSD and head injury became worse over time he began to become suspicious started hiding things from me until eventually he demanded we have separate accounts and he took control of the majority of the household money. The result was huge debt that I had no control over and was expected to pay with minimal income.
I don't think the amount a new realtionship might make will be a factor but his willingness to be open and completely willing to make things work together will be really important to me. It sounds great on paper but I am not sure how easy it will be for me to believe it can actually happen though after the mess my stbx is still making of my life.
Christine
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This is the first day of the rest of my life. Or maybe tomorrow will be.
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saamrodi
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2899
Loc: here
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[QUOTE]To me at this stage of the game of life if someone isn't financially responsibl they are a no go. Character tells everything about a person you need to know, looks fade, bodies droop, but character is a lifetime achievement.[QUOTE]
I agree with this. My ex was lousy with money. I am not a control freak either financially. I would LOVE!!! to not have to deal with the finances. "We need to pay some extra bills?"...Im on it. Ill work extra and hand it over. I dont care. If I trust that person, its all good with me if they dont mind heading that area up. I dont mind helping, but no...
Having said that. I agree with the statement that "financially responsible" is a must. Financially responsible can be somebody flat broke struggling. It all depends on what their situation is and "why". They can still be responsible if in the above category. Its not, the money aspect that matters, its responsibility of a person overall. Yes.
As for your original post Malone, I dont know what to add other than you have walked those shoes of losing alot. Maybe, if and when its "right", youll have your answer.
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mrpat
Platinum
Reged: 09/12/07
Posts: 2640
Loc: Michigan
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"Having said that. I agree with the statement that "financially responsible" is a must. Financially responsible can be somebody flat broke struggling. It all depends on what their situation is and "why". They can still be responsible if in the above category. Its not, the money aspect that matters, its responsibility of a person overall. Yes."
Damn Saam...............your gonna have a great life. Responsibility for what you have not what you think you should have. I've been on both ends of the spectrum and realize in the end, money is to be handled not a prerequisite to an emotional attachment to another person. When I decide to have faith in other people, I hope to remember these words.
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People don't care how much you know.........until they know how much you care.
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julestn
Bronze
Reged: 06/14/08
Posts: 44
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Yes! I agree with you and I am sure you will get what you want.
Good luck!
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