Divorce Support Forums: Reasonable behavior

I can't argue with thinking about your kids before you act. I commend you for it. I try to do the same. I think that a parent should always look to conduct themselves in a manner that sets a good example for their children. I don't think kids buy the, "Do as I say, not as I do." stuff. A large part of how they model their behavior is a result of what they see us do.

I don't think we're as far apart in our opinions as I originally believed either though, Lair. You agree that sometimes violence is the only answer, but we disagree that this is one situation where it should be employed. I don't condone violence as a first response except when there's the physical safety of people involved to be considered. Talking should always be the first step towards conflict resolution. Sometimes you just need to escalate it, though

.

You know, I heard that line growing up. "A real man walks away from a fight". I didn't really believe it then, and I don't really believe it now. Oddly enough, my father never preached it to me. He told me, "Don't you ever start a fight, but you defend yourself if you feel you need to". I think one should measure each situation and respond appropriately. In rare cases, that response needs to be a physical one. I've probably been in a handful of fights my whole life, and I don't think I've even been in a physical confrontation since high school. Then again, I haven't had to deal with the situation I described, either. I don't visit the bar scene.

I think the last time I got in a fight it was a bench clearing brawl my senior year by my high school football team and the opposing side. Damned ref wasn't calling me being held for three plays straight so I shoved the guy down that was doing it and told him to "Knock that shit off!". Dumb, I know. He shoved me back. I shoved him again and then a whole mess of people appeared out of nowhere, punching and shoving.

Anyway, fast forward several years from now and say I'm married and driving home with my wife and son after being bailed out of jail. My son asks me what I did that was so horrible that the cops put me in jail. If I had to tell him, "A man tried to assault my wife and wouldn't listen when I told him to stop ... so I made him stop", I wouldn't consider that a bad lesson. I want my kids to have the passion and courage to stand up for themselves and fight for those they love and what they believe in.

<< Hey now, don't dis my boy Isaac. You wanna step outside? >>

Haha! No sir, in this situation, talking out the different sides of the argument is much more appealing!