newlife123
Gold
Reged: 11/04/07
Posts: 188
Loc: phila suburb-PA
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I know this is going to tick some off and believe me it can tick me off too.
I think sometimes when I think I let him off too easy it's because I'm jealous, I have no one now and he has her. They have each other and I'm by myself, alone. I think a lot of my anger comes from that green eyed monster.
I'm not comortable with that thought but in some ways I'm proud of my growth in realizing a lot of my pain is self inflicted. NO, he is still a low life but he can't continually hurt me by being with her,that ship has sailed.
I need to get over it, I still obsess over them but I know I am now. How do you stop when you are your own company way too much? I need to get out of my head and into the world. How do you stop thinking about them, I try reading and watching tv but then some sappy commercial comes on and I see the dream and think THEY have it and I don't.
I put the word BELIEVE next to my TV because I believe I will have "it", better and more powerful and maybe he needed to get out of the way for me to find it.
I hate being jealous and I wasn't a jealous person before. These lessons I've learned though this poop stink!!!!!!!!!!
They might have it for now but I will have it for GOOD!
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boobaby
Platinum
Reged: 05/01/07
Posts: 296
Loc: mass
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I don't know when we actually stop thinking about the ex (if ever). We all heal from the divorce eventually, but it seems they are always in our memories. I know my ex is. They seem to pop up at unexpected times. Take this weekend for example. I am one year, 3 months into this and I have gotten over him, moved on, am happy with my life, yadda, yadda, yadda. But, for some reason, this weekend I have been in the dumps (maybe because I know the ex and the GF are having a cookout with family or that I was at Home Depot today which is where we would go to together). I have even been a little weepy at times and this has not happened for about 6 months. I wonder if it is the lonliness creeping back in. So how do we get them out of our heads? I wish I knew the answer to that.
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lettinggo
Platinum
Reged: 06/05/07
Posts: 588
Loc: Michigan
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Newlife...
I'm right there with you!! I know how it feels to be so ticked off because you are alone and they have someone. It just doesn't seem right does it? But ask yourself this...do you TRULEY believe that they have this fairy tale romance? Do you TRULEY believe that their lives are so utterly happy? Do you TRULEY believe that in the end, YOU will be the happy one? I try to remind myself of these things time and again. I'm not sure what your case consists of but in mine. My ex cheated on me, has cheated on her and still does. I know this because he's cheated with me. I only did it for the main point in getting back at her but when I realized it only made me feel worse I stopped it then and there. It hasn't happened now in a long time. So I just remind myself of this little phrase...he cheated with her so what makes her so sure he won't cheat on her? In time they will get theirs...just don't waste YOUR time waiting for it to happen. I know it's hard and trust me I need to practice what I preach because what do you think I'm doing right now on this beautiful 4th of July day? Yup, sitting here feeling sorry for myself because I'm alone, my friends are busy and my son is with his idiot father and his skank celebrating the 4th of JUly...just doesn't seem fair. I don't wanna go to the parade for fear of running into "them" as a family because that will surely throw me over the edge. So I'm gonna sit here, cook something to eat and go to bed early. Before I know it, Sunday will be here and my son will be home and I can go back to the "normal" of my life for another week. Hang in there...we are all here with ya!!
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Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go
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newlife123
Gold
Reged: 11/04/07
Posts: 188
Loc: phila suburb-PA
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No I know it's not greener over there, I learned today that our friends who are still his "friends" have lost a lot of respect for him. They call them the Rhino(her) and Loverboy(him), it shows how little they have gained. These are friends mind you! They told me that he is whipped!
I believe things happen for a reason and I KNOW I am to have better. I just wish it would show itself in at least a date or two.
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mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1412
Loc: Richmond, VA
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I know how you feel. I think the same thing sometimes. It sucks that she gets to dump me and gets to move on with her life without skipping a beat while I'm stuck in relationship limbo. Abbysfv has a great sig, that her ex will make someone very happy -- for a very short time. I think that's the way I see my ex and her new man. It won't last because she hasnt't learned anything and at some point he'll become as bored with her as I did only he will be smart enough to get out. It's funny, my daughter was talking to me this morning saying she doesn't like her mom's new boyfriend. I was a bit surprised as in the past she said she did. I asked her why and she said it was because her mommy and I should be together. I kind of figured this would happen at some point. I don't even know how to explain to her that I don't want to be with her mother anymore.
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Here I am ladies.......come and get me. :-)
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MarMcMar
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 1590
Loc: Western New York
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NewLife,
Jealousy is natural and justified in yiour situation, as it was in mine. However, when you are sick and tired of feeling that way, I have something that worked for me:
Every time you have a poisonous/jealous/toxic/negative thought about him and his GF, you must replace it with a blessing. Ie.: "I hope his dick falls off and she gets uterine cancer." This must be replaced with: "God, give them happiness and contentment." Or, "I hope her dog is healthy." Or "May his job go well and he be at peace with his co-workers."
Now, you may say this is impossible and you can't do it. But I swear, it works. If you're desperate enough and want bitterness out of your life, this is how it's done.
The mind simply cannot hold two thoughts at one time. If you consistently drive out negativity with blessing, that is what will reside there.
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The sweetest thing you'll ever see in the whole wide world is a happy girl.
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juliacinaz
Platinum
Reged: 02/03/08
Posts: 857
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Mar...u r a way better person than I am!
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newlife123
Gold
Reged: 11/04/07
Posts: 188
Loc: phila suburb-PA
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I pray for him every night, I pray that he becomes a better parent and that he finds what he is looking for. I pray the same for me and my kids I pray they find peace with all this.
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