scbeck
Platinum
Reged: 12/29/07
Posts: 851
Loc: New Brunswick Canada
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And he didn't sign the papers I had drawn up. Yesterday he agreed to sign and this morning at 5am with our daughter waiting he refused to sign. Instead he gave me a paper he had printed and signed saying it said the same. He took a copy of mine and said once he got back and read it(which I offered to him yesterday to read)he would sign and send it back by registered mail.
For interest here is what he gave me:
"DB will take SB on or before July 4/08 and will return SB on or before or after Aug 4/08. That will be up to her. She is old enough to pick her return date. I will leave it up to her..."
Here is what I wanted him to sign:
"This is to confirm that SB will leave the custody and care of her mother COB and enter custody and care of her father DB beginning July 5/08 to travel from her home in NB to the home of her father in NF. She will remain in the custody and care of her father in NF until Aug 6/08 when she will return to her home in NB and the custody and care of her mother COB. Should this itinerary need to be changed COB will be informed by DB before making such changes. Also while in NF SB will be in the custody and care of her grandparents MB and RB as well as her father's current GF TS."
After refusing to sign he turned to our 13 year old daughter and asked her if she wanted to go with him and when she said yes he told her to go get in the truck. Our daughter even asked him to just sign it and he refused still. At 5am on a Saturday and with no legal limitations I felt helpless to do anything but wish her a good time and tell her I love her and I will miss her. She has seen her dad once in the last 8 months because he moved to NF to be with his GF and her kids which is 800 miles away and he has only made one trip to come get his things and see her about 3 months ago for a total of 3 days.
Currently they are on the road driving 8 hrs to get to the ferry that will take 6 hrs to get to NF and then they drive another 10 hrs to get to their destination so it will be late tomorrow before they get there. Somehow he has to get back here for the 14th July for our court date. Of course before leaving he informed me he is planning to postpone that until Oct. I hope my lawyer is able to prevent that because before the end of summer I will have had to claim bankruptcy because he is not helping me with the mortgage and then I won't qualify for another mortgage no matter how small. When I tried to talk to him about that he said he would let the bank take it before he will help pay for a place he is not living in. Never mind it is the roof over his daughter's head until I can get it sold.
Yep I'm venting. Never knew just how much it would hurt to have to let my daughter go and know she will be so far away.
I guess it is my turn to say I HATE DIVORCE.
Christine
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This is the first day of the rest of my life. Or maybe tomorrow will be.
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malone
Platinum
Reged: 12/30/07
Posts: 1942
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Christine
I'm really sorry he got to take your daughter without signing the papers.
I know how manipulative he is with you. I can understad how it happened. However, you need to have a Plan B in case. Plan B will be for you to collect your daughter yourself.
By the way, why did he bring his own paper for you to sign. Did he know you had one for him to sign?
And his agreement wasn't worth the paper it's written on. It has an 'escape clause' - on or before or after.
I'm thinking of you.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3345
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[quote]
For interest here is what he gave me:
"DB will take SB on or before July 4/08 and will return SB on or before or after Aug 4/08. That will be up to her. She is old enough to pick her return date. I will leave it up to her..."[/quote]
He didn't give you a return date. All he has to do is say that she doesn't want to return. Unfortunately, since you did let her go without a specific return date, you are going to have to get one in court.
Personally, I would get in contact with your lawyer first thing Monday morning. This mistake you made can be rectified.
If he tries to postpone, simply tell the court that it needs to be heard as he may not be planning on returning your child to you.
I know it is real hard when it is you who is going to look like the bad guy. And that is how he set it up. Hopefully, this won't be a major issue. But you need to be prepared in case it turns into one.
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malone
Platinum
Reged: 12/30/07
Posts: 1942
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[quote]
Personally, I would get in contact with your lawyer first thing Monday morning. This mistake you made can be rectified.
If he tries to postpone, simply tell the court that it needs to be heard as he may not be planning on returning your child to you. [/quote]
I agree with Jada Christine. Get onto it immediately. Don't wait until he's due to bring her back. You've told me a lot about him and I wouldn't be surprised if he's planned all this manipulation of you and your daughter to get what he wanted. Do what it takes to get that hearing urgently. Incidentally, be careful what you say in a post on here in relation to this matter. If he's reading the forum, you wil only forewarn him of anything you do.
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scbeck
Platinum
Reged: 12/29/07
Posts: 851
Loc: New Brunswick Canada
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Thanks Jada. I look forward to your knowledge. I have to make sure we don't postpone for another reason too. I am about a month away from bankruptcy because he is not paying his half of the mortgage and utilities so my lawyer had pushed for an emergency hearing based on that so this will be adressed then too. I didn't sign his paper and he knew I was going to have something for him to sign but after agreeing to sign iniitially at the last minute he refused. I had talked to my lawyer in advance about the possibility and she felt since we don't have any custody on paper I should try not to let her go without him signing but short of physically restraining her and I am sure that would have led to an altercation with him there was nothing I could do as long as our daughter wanted to go. She is 13 and apparently the police would not be able to stop him taking her if she wanted to go with him so all I can do is take this to my lawyer immediately Monday morning. I don't blame my daughter for needing to go. This has been in the works for so long and in the last 8 months she has seen her father a total of 3 days when he came to collect his things and brought his GF to meet his daughter. It was definitely a lose lose situation.
Christine
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This is the first day of the rest of my life. Or maybe tomorrow will be.
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