Divorce Support Forums: Just had to let my daughter go for a month

My stbx just took our daughter to go live with him and his GF and her kids for the next month. This has been coming for a long time but I am still not ready for it. And to top things off he refused to sign the papers I had printed out at the urging of my lawyer. We still don't have custody established because we haven't been to court but my lawyer felt since she was 13 and old enough to make her own choices as long as he would sign an agreement re date of pick-up and return it would stand as an agreement. Initially he agreed to sign my copy and then this morning at 5am with her packed and sitting in the vehicle he refused and gave me a copy of a note he had written instead. I have posted in the life after divorce forum and I included copies of each if anyone is interested in what the notes said. He took a copy of mine and told me after he got back and read it he would sign it an send it registered mail. I had tried to get him to read and sign yesterday but he wanted to do it this am. Then he turned to our daughter and flat out asked her "do you want to come with me?" Naturally she is going to say yes. She has seen him for a total of 3 days in the last 8 months so of course she is starving for some time with him, but I could see the "I'm sorry" in her eyes when she said it. All I could do was hug her and tell here to have a good time and that I would call everynight or she could call me anytime.

This will be the longest month of my life!!!

Out of curiosity does anyone know the difference in sole custody with access for visitation as opposed to joint custody with primary residence at one place and access for vistation by the non-custodial parent. I am in Canada and my lawyer had submitted request for sole custody as above and in alternative joint as above. My stbx is adament that he will not agree to sole custody even if he gets all the same visitations. What difference does the label mean?

Christine

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This is the first day of the rest of my life. Or maybe tomorrow will be.