Divorce Support Forums: In need of advice

My wife left me and the kids 4 1/2 years ago. When she left she also left so many bills I was unable to afford to take legal action to end the marriage.Since that time she has been accruing debts which I have had to pay while supporting our 3 kids.There is a child support order in affect for the past 3 years which she has ignored.There is even a bench warrant out on her but apparently it doesnt mean much.
I really want to put an end to all this but for one we dont know where she is,she hasnt contacted the kids for three years.For two, two years after she left I was able to purchase a home,which burned down shortly thereafter,but I was able to put up another on the same land build a shop and make a life for me and the kids.The reason I was able to buy the property is somewhat complicated but I dont feel she would have any moral right to any of this as she took all of what was left of the marital assets when she left plus I was able to aquire what we have in spite of her constant running up of bills.Being that noone can seem to find her companies naturally come to me for payment of her debts.
Money is very tight and I have had the option of feeding and clothing the kids or hiring an attorney and possibly losing our home and income(my business is in the shop on the property).Does anyone have a suggestion that could help?