BamaMatt
Bronze
Reged: 05/25/08
Posts: 26
Loc: Down South
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A question for the group -
I have some vacation time from work that I want to use. But I am a little nervous about the prospect of taking a week away from "everyday life" of going to work and at least keeping the shell of my former life as a married guy.
My question is - what do divorcing people do on vacation? I don't have a clue what I would do with a free week off work, and I DON'T want to take off if I'm just going to end up sitting at home. I'll end up more lonely and depressed than I have ever been. I struggle with that even on a weekend at home alone.
But I can't think of anything I would enjoy doing as a vacation. I am not ready to date yet by any stretch, so the idea of anything that is catered to "singles" is out.
I want to find something that would be fun and entertaining for one person to do - something relaxing, but yet keep me busy and keep my mind off the big D that is always hanging over my head all the time.
Any thoughts? Please share any experiences you have. I need some guidance from all the wise posters here.
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juliacinaz
Platinum
Reged: 02/03/08
Posts: 770
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I stayed home this past week with only a few minor plans and ended up depressed and in the tank. The choices are endless if you have money. There are tons of singles vacations and cruises and outings. Have you tried meetup.com? What are your hobbies? I usually use my time off to visit family or I stay at the beach. This is the first time I ever ended up depressed while on vacation. I am usually too busy.
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germangirl631
Platinum
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 851
Loc: NJ
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Could you go visit friends that live far away? Maybe go on a group vacation tour. My dad met lots of friends (not people to date) doing that.
Personally, I would look for an organized tour. You know there will be other people there with you every day. I'd pick something I'd like to learn more about - like a birdwatching tour. I'd get to meet people with my same interests, see some beautiful scenery, as well as learn something in the process.
The other thing I would consider would be one of those eco-tours where you help the environment. Again, there are other people along, and you get to do something cool for the earth.
That's just me. Who knows if I'll ever have the luxury of knowing several months in advance that I will have a week child-free so that I could actually plan such a trip? My stbx has been extremely unreliable with visitation.
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mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1335
Loc: Richmond, VA
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Well, a few weeks ago, I went and visited family for a week. I'm in Virginia and they are all in North Dakota. I switched it up a bit by staying with an Aunt and Uncle instead of my parents. My aunt and uncle are about the same age as me so it was really like staying with peers/friends. In a few weeks, I am taking my daughter on a vacation to Myrtle Beach and meeting a friend and his family there. Funny thing is it was originally a vacation for our whole family when I booked it last year. Hahahahaha. Too bad for the ex.
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Here I am ladies.......come and get me. :-)
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kent
Platinum
Reged: 06/13/07
Posts: 2962
Loc: a melted glacier
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I am taking a trip to Iceland. I am scheduled to do all sorts of things I have never done before.
I figure in divorce we have to change our daily lives, why not also change the way we vacation.
I would suggest you take a trip to someplace that interests you. Schedule some days that you are part of a tour group (you get to talk with others), and time alone. Personally I think it is important to continue to mix up the alone and group time. You can do this type of thing internationally, nationally or even locally.
It can also be fun to be a tourist in your own town or state. Think of all the places of interest where you live. Every state has them. Go to the ones you have not gone to. A museum? A park where you can camp? etc.
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Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.
Dr. Seuss
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mfergel
Platinum
Reged: 02/11/08
Posts: 1335
Loc: Richmond, VA
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My aunt gave me some good advice similar to what Kent said while I was staying with her, and this was in my hometown.
I went out shopping one day and spent $800 on clothes. I had never done that before. She told me I should do something new every day. Think about the limitless possiblities. Try a new restaurant, visit a museum you've never seen before, ride bike somewhere different, cook something you've never made before. It doesn't have to be huge, just different.
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Here I am ladies.......come and get me. :-)
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Cari115
Platinum
Reged: 06/11/07
Posts: 1788
Loc: Not where I thought I'd be
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I would love to vacation in the South of France (cliche?) or Italy. Hmmm...that would hit the spot.
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She's figured out all her doubts were someone else's point of view - Green Day
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BamaMatt
Bronze
Reged: 05/25/08
Posts: 26
Loc: Down South
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Thanks everyone for your thoughts and ideas. I hope I can find something.
Cari - I have always wanted to go to both those places also. A bit more $$ than I can swing right now, but its on my long-term list.
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SetterMama
Platinum
Reged: 02/24/07
Posts: 808
Loc: Toronto, Ontario
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I took two weeks vacation this summer because I have the time even though I have no money to actually go away. So I joined a workout group for the time I am off and I am going to kick my butt into shape for my vacation! I figure it's something I can do for myself that I will feel good about in the end even though getting up at 6 am every morning to get my butt kicked by a trainer is not as fun as I would have liked!
Whatever you do - make sure you take some time off - I made that mistake last year after the divorce - I didn't take enough time off and I burnt myself into the ground.
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He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still. ~ Lau Tzu
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