billymae
New
Reged: 07/05/08
Posts: 2
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Hi, I need ideas. My husband and I have been separated for 4 yrs and our son is enrolling in a private school that is very expensive and he agreed to help pay for the lessons. It is for aviation lessons and he called my son and told him that he has to have copies of the receipts cause someone is asking for them since he is sending so much extra money directly to my son as well as paying the court ordered child support and he used the phrase...tell your mother that I am not trying to pull anything funny but I have to have the receipts cause I have to show them to someone since I am sending so much money. My question is what or who would need to know this outside of the three of us...and what ramifications or sneaky things could he pull by using the receipts? I was going to send them to him just because I wanted him to have proof that our son is in the school and because he has to send the money directly to our son but... he has me wondering what he is up to by the wording on the message to our son...any ideas? This would in no way give him legal grounds to demand he file his taxes and use our sons' info on his taxes is it? He is not supporting him totally or even by half even if he were to pay for all the lessons...any help or ideas would be appreciated...
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3314
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First of all, you need to tell your son's father that if he needs anything financial, he is to talk to you directly. Your son has no business being in the middle of your financial issues.
Whether or not he can claim your son on the taxes all depends on your court order. If it isn't addressed at all and you are the custodial parent, you get the exemption.
One thing your husband may be trying to do is claim that what he is paying is child support so that he doesn't have to pay the court ordered child support.
Personally, I would go to court and get the status quo (him paying a portion of the private school tuition) as part of the court order.
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melanie14
Platinum
Reged: 03/11/06
Posts: 3058
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sounds like he is up to something. Does he pay in cash or check? And why would you pay the child? That seems odd, if he needs receipts he should ask the school. Something doesn't add up!
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billymae
New
Reged: 07/05/08
Posts: 2
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I appreciate the time you took to write me back. I called him today and asked him about this situation and he just said that he is working on the divorce and that he can't tell me why he is asking for the information but he needs it. He actually offered to pay the entire tuition if I agree to just sign the divorce papers and not fight the divorce...I am the one that asked him to get the divorce he promised me four years ago because I am not in a financial position to do it myself and legal aid will only help recent abuse victims and not me in the state I am in. I am curious how he is financially because we lived very modestly and without much...he says he is working a temporary job but he will pay for this (which over the course of the lessons could top fifteen thousand or more)...I know something is up now...he cleaned out our bank account when he left and has NEVER done more than pay the support and sometimes he is behind in that. I don't believe in alien abductions so I am thinking I still don't see the big picture. Thanks for the answers though. I will continue to research this.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3314
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[quote]I appreciate the time you took to write me back. I called him today and asked him about this situation and he just said that he is working on the divorce and that he can't tell me why he is asking for the information but he needs it. He actually offered to pay the entire tuition if I agree to just sign the divorce papers and not fight the divorce...I am the one that asked him to get the divorce he promised me four years ago because I am not in a financial position to do it myself and legal aid will only help recent abuse victims and not me in the state I am in. I am curious how he is financially because we lived very modestly and without much...he says he is working a temporary job but he will pay for this (which over the course of the lessons could top fifteen thousand or more)...I know something is up now...he cleaned out our bank account when he left and has NEVER done more than pay the support and sometimes he is behind in that. I don't believe in alien abductions so I am thinking I still don't see the big picture. Thanks for the answers though. I will continue to research this. [/quote]
If he refuses to tell you the reason, simply tell him that he is more than welcome to contact the school to get the tuition information.
But you are not providing him with a receipt without a court order. You can ask him in court why he wants it and the judge will compel him to answer.
It could be that his place of employment may give him money for the tuition. Which is good for him. But if it goes over his portion, he needs to give you the money that goes over what he said.
If he is agreeable to paying the entire tuition, get that in writing and if the other terms are agreeable to you (and definitely take anything settlement he extends to an attorney for review) and if you have gone through discovery(if it has been over a year since he provided his income information, he needs to provide more current info. I would ask for 6 months back, this way you can see if he's deliberately inflated some deductions), then go ahead and sign off on it. But only after the attorney has reviewed it and recent info has been provided.
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5042
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I know you say he's not paid a thing other than child support, but you've got your son in a very expensive school and you say he's paid for that. If so, then what coudl POSSIBLY be the harm in proving that he paid it?
It may be part of him proving that he's paid to support your child, for the courts.
Heck, it could be that he's got a new girlfriend who is angry that they have to go dutch every time they go out and he wants to prove that he really does pay for this expensive schooling. Or it could be some tax or charitable contribution deduction he's looking for... some tuition credit... If he's really earning more than you are, then he does deserve to get the tax benefit of being current on support and having paid the tuition.
If he's paid the tuition, give him the receipts for his payments. You could be obstructive and require him to contact the school or subpoena them directly, but that would increase his legal fees, increase the difficulty of getting the divorce over with, and decrease the likelihood of continuing to pay this stuff in the future.
If I get a vote on this: I say approach it as if he's doing the right thng and give him a receipt for stuff if he's paid it. OR... be suspicious, don't give him a receipt for stuff he paid for, and risk starting world war III over the fact that he DID, in fact, pay for something and maybe deserves credit for that payment.
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