Tatakai
Silver
Reged: 06/29/08
Posts: 52
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Why is it that people automatically think that the wife should have custody of the child/children? Talked to my sister and she just couldn't believe that I have custody of my son. What is it that dictates that the wife should have the kids no matter what? I don't understand this backwards thinking. I guess it is from years past that is the way it always was or something. Hell, I have taken care of my son for the past 9 years, when he was sick in the hospital I was there, when he had the stomach ache I was there, through everything I was there taking care of him. I took him to school and picked him up in the afternoons. Sorry ladies but this is really pissing me off.
Tatakai
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3234
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[quote]Why is it that people automatically think that the wife should have custody of the child/children? Talked to my sister and she just couldn't believe that I have custody of my son. What is it that dictates that the wife should have the kids no matter what? I don't understand this backwards thinking. I guess it is from years past that is the way it always was or something. Hell, I have taken care of my son for the past 9 years, when he was sick in the hospital I was there, when he had the stomach ache I was there, through everything I was there taking care of him. I took him to school and picked him up in the afternoons. Sorry ladies but this is really pissing me off.
Tatakai [/quote]
Because, typically, it is the wife who does the primary caregiving.
And from what I have seen with most of my married friends, it is usually the wife who is the one doing everything that you are doing.
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Tatakai
Silver
Reged: 06/29/08
Posts: 52
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She is the one that walked out, she is the one that has a boyfriend and a girlfriend But people that I know think that I should just hand over my son and pay child support to her. They can't believe that she is suppose to be paying me CS. if she didn't pay a dime I wouldn't care as long as I have my son to give him the best that I can possibly give him.
Tatakai
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3234
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[quote]She is the one that walked out, she is the one that has a boyfriend and a girlfriend But people that I know think that I should just hand over my son and pay child support to her. They can't believe that she is suppose to be paying me CS. if she didn't pay a dime I wouldn't care as long as I have my son to give him the best that I can possibly give him.
Tatakai [/quote]
Why? From what you have posted, you are very involved with your child. Not only that, you aren't the one who moved 300 miles away from the child's home.
I wouldn't listen to those people. She chose to move away (the fact that she has a boyfriend is not relevant when it comes to custody), therefore, she chose to become a long-distance parent.
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ILMom
Silver
Reged: 12/03/07
Posts: 91
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I can understand why you feel that way but you really need to figure out how to deal with the responses from these ignorant people rather than just get angry. I would say that it was best for you to have custody of the child and the courts agreed.
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Tatakai
Silver
Reged: 06/29/08
Posts: 52
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[quote]I can understand why you feel that way but you really need to figure out how to deal with the responses from these ignorant people rather than just get angry. I would say that it was best for you to have custody of the child and the courts agreed. [/quote]
So far yes they have agreed as I only have temporary custody. My lawyer says that she will have a hard time getting him back. TN is a 50/50 state so time will tell. Time for me to go to the gym and work out again. Everytime I get stressed and upset I go to the gym and work out. At least I will be in better shape time this is all done and over with.
tatakai
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3234
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[quote][quote]I can understand why you feel that way but you really need to figure out how to deal with the responses from these ignorant people rather than just get angry. I would say that it was best for you to have custody of the child and the courts agreed. [/quote]
So far yes they have agreed as I only have temporary custody. My lawyer says that she will have a hard time getting him back. TN is a 50/50 state so time will tell. Time for me to go to the gym and work out again. Everytime I get stressed and upset I go to the gym and work out. At least I will be in better shape time this is all done and over with.
tatakai [/quote]
You can't do 50/50 when the parents live 300 miles apart. Even if the state you are in is a 50/50 state.
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Tatakai
Silver
Reged: 06/29/08
Posts: 52
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I agree it will be hard for her. She gets our son every other weekend for now. She has had him for two weeks and refuses to return him. She is violating the court order and so much more now. Don't see how this could be good for her at all now.
I guess that with the original topic of wives always getting custody was the old school way of things but now it is suppose to be different and so many things come into the equation. I just want to best for my son is all.
Tatakai
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chatter box
Platinum
Reged: 11/09/07
Posts: 1195
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People think this way because it is the norm. It would be nice to change the whole thought about this over night but it just isn't going to happen. What you need to worry about is the responce to give. When your son gets old enough to start school ( I thought he was under 5) you will find teachers assume things also. Some will not but more often then not they will asume you are still married or a widower. If you intreduce a woman then they will think it is mom. Doctors offices are the same way and so are the police. good luck today with getting your order.
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Highroad
Bronze
Reged: 06/12/08
Posts: 40
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[quote]She is the one that walked out [/quote]
That is why you have custody. The parent who leave the home is considered to be abandoning the child and their responsibilities, so the moment she walked out, you had the advantage with regard to custody. And the others are right. Whoever is doing the primary caregiving gernearlly gets custody, unless the court sees otherwise.
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