rockville9
New
Reged: 07/14/08
Posts: 2
|
|
my wife and i have been married for almost 5 years. i never expeceted to get married in the first place. i guess i was never strong enough to breakup with her. she is 7 years older than me (i'm 35). we have a 4 year old boy. she went to a fertility clinic the month after we got back from our honeymoon. we had a successful birth the following year. we have had 3 miscarries since, all with the help of a fertility doctor.
during our dating period, her father was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. i could not bring myself to leave her, because she frequently said things like "i just want to my dad to walk me down the aisle..." ect. her father passed away 2 months after we were married.
i always felt, if i could make her happy, i would be satisfied with my lot in life. but we argued, and continue to argue, a lot. this feeling of guilt, has eaten away at me for a long time. we have been seeing a theripist for over a year. i have been waiting for the theripist to see my pain and try to open up the subject that i am not strong enough to open.
my wife is not a bad person. i do not hate her. despite what i think was a mistaken marriage, we were blessed with a wonderful child. however, i do not feel i am doing anyone any favors at all by staying together. i walk around the house miserable. i cannot be initimate with her, mostly because i feel like such crap about myself. she has been growing distant with me as well, but i'm sure that she doesn't know the whole story behind my sadness.
i am positive if i bring up the subject of divorce, she will, with plenty of reason, be extremely upset. i just don't want my son to grow up in a home where it is obvious the parents don't want to be together.
i have never hit her, even in our worst arguements. i have broken dishes, as has she. we both have a pretty bad temper, but lately, we just try to avoid eachother. i have also never been unfaithful, and i'm certain that she has not either.
i would like to have more children, but we cannot do so. i am also getting resentful about our age difference.
i have no idea what to do. i do not want my (potentially), only child to grow up without / hating, his father.
please help.
|
ILMom
Gold
Reged: 12/03/07
Posts: 112
|
|
Are you seeing your therapist by yourself or just with your wife? Sounds like seeing her by yorself may be more helpful at this point. This is not the time to stall and not be open with your therapist about your feelings. She may even suggest you see a psychiatrist or doctor for some anti-depressants.
IMHO It is healthier for the child to have a positive relationship with two parents that live separate from one another than two parents who are distant and/or argue constantly. Once my ex was out of the house, I could see the positive impact it had on me and the kids. It was like someone had opened a window and we could finally breathe.
|
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit
Reply
Quote
