I have been married for over 16 years. My husband & I have gone to counseling off and on through the years. I have finally had it and want out. Adultery or abuse is not involved. I have stayed home watching our 2 children the entire time. He graduated from college and now earns just over 6 figures. I only received some college because I got pregnant and had to quit due to pg dangers. I have retained a lawyer through my mom's financial help. I was about to start school this fall and finally go back and our kids go to the cheapest private school in our area. At first he was going to take the kids and put them in public and not pay for me going to school. Now he wants me to stay in the home and live "separate" lives, but no dating others. He will put me through school and give me a budget with spending money each month. And after 4 years when I graduate, I can live if I want. He wants me to drop the lawyer. And keeps telling me that I'll never live in a house again, and I'll never live like this again if I go through with this. I don't know what to do. If I go through with the divorce will I be as destitute as he tells me since I was a stay at home mom for so long? Can he pull the kids out of the school they attend? I really want to go to school, am I out of luck like he says if I leave? I have no income of my home and I feel like I'm at his mercy. I'd appreciate any advice you can give me. Thank you.
You should be able to get the same deal he's offering from the divorce court - temporary support to help you through school. Once divorced, he'll be trying to support two households on one income so something will have to give to make ends meet - put the kids in public school and/or you getting a job...
Thanks, I really needed to hear that I'll get some money for school. I understand what you're saying about 2 households, his money can only stretch so far. He doesn't want me getting a lawyer at all, and wants to mediate this between us, but is only coming up with ideas of me staying home. And he's putting all these fears and doubts in my head that I'll never do better with out him. And I know nothing about the law and my rights.
There is a reason he is so nervous about you having a lawyer. Maybe he spoke to one and learned some of his options in court. This lawyer you retained- have you spoken to him/her yet? They can tell you better than anyone on here can about how it may play out in court. They should be able to give you tips on how to negotiate more of what you want in this situation. I don't know your husband, but him scaring you by telling you you'll be destitute seems like emotional blackmail to me. Suggest he knock it off. You will have to adjust like most of us but it is doable.
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit
Reply
Quote
