Divorce Support Forums: Can someone help me??????

Sounds very similar to my situation! I had been married for 2 years when my wife suffered a severe depression (she does not think so even though she tried to commit suicide!) and became remote, distant and unloving. It was like walking on eggshells all the time. I became friendly with the young lady in the next cube over and we went out for lunch maybe twice a week, she became someone I could talk to but never discussed family with her or the situation.

So, 10 years later my wife out of the blue asks me if I have ever had an affair to which I responded that I had thought about it just once! I had at the time with what was going on at home thought about it but after real thought decided that I would be making a bad decision and focused on my wife and our family. I felt our marriage and relationship was strong enough to manage what I considered something that was well in the past and that ultimately amounted to nothing.

However since I have mentioned this everything has gradually gone to pot. Although she denies it (she is always right, never wrong and no matter what the circumstances can manage to find a story that suits her mind) she gradually pushed me away, I got accused of all kinds of things. I ended up resorting to online [censored] which probably became an addiction after texting and e-mailing hookers just for the fun of it and posting on line profiles none of which went anywhere. I gave her my old computer and she finds all my online activites which drove her nuts even more, I did not help my case by dripping the extent of my activites out either!

So now I am accused of all kinds of things from going to strip joints to buying hookers to bringing home diseases (I'm clean and have no worries that I ever contracted anything through the computer or phone), you name it and apparently I've done it!

In the meantime she has tried to kill herself 3 times before the admission of the "I nearly affair" and 4 times just in the last 3 years. I have got sick of being accused of things that I have not done, although I certainly did not help my case with the actions and evidence. I am now the worst person on the planet and even though my wife is no saint with all of her arrests for shoplifting and the pressure that has put us under recently she can do no wrong and my problems are because of my childhood and every member of my family and hers are because of me!

So I have decided rather painfully that enough is enough after 17 years and especially if I have been so bad and am the constant cause of her pain, depressions, suicide attempts and shoplifting.

She does not trust me and I do not trust her so we have mutually reached a place of agreement through disagreement.

I hope your situation works itself out, sometimes it is more convenient for one partner to blame the other when both can in some circumstances contribute to the problems. At least my kids have left home or are in High school and understand the dynamics with my wife very well having had to live through it all.