taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2461
Loc: standing on the mountaintop! :...
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all $$ issues aside
(we all know i cant keep this house finacially if i have to pay the mortgage/utilites)
so...
has there ever been a circumstance where the
NCP takes over the maritial home
and
the CP moves with the kids?
what happens custody wise when/if that happens?
if im given custody of the kids
(as i have been the 'temporary legal and custodial parent'
for the past year and a half)
at the final hearing,
and
he takes over the house.
my moving would be a 'change in circumstances' if i moved to a more affordable neighborhood school district.
so couldnt he at that point file for custody stating he's in the children's original home/school district?
OR
IF this happens should i find somthing somehow and stay in the district?
he's track record stinks, but the past six months he's stepped up...takes the kids to his parents, comes as scheduled, etc. so....
and if he moves here without the g/f and her kids...
well, im just thinking all this through
as that's a 50% possibility.
has ANYONE ever had the ncp buy out the maritial home
becasue the CP cant afford it?
thanks.
ps. should i post this under custody? or leave it?
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taryn.
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happytobdivorced
Platinum
Reged: 03/15/07
Posts: 1125
Loc: Hell, USA
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Taryn-I doubt it would matter. You have been a SAHM for all these years. You have been the children's primary caretaker and have been given temporary custody of them. You have shown that even under the $ circumstances-you have taken care of the kids, no matter what.
Changing school districts is not the ideal-but it won't be the end of the world. Your children won't be the first to have to change school districts because their parents are divorcing.
I know you are worrying about every little detail and I understand. But try to think positive.
The only thing I think could happen is he may ask for 50/50 custody. 50/50 is becoming more common these days. I don't know if he wants that or not. You are not going to lose custody of your kids.
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Message for my ex "I think you know by now, I'm not the person I used to be"
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mandi292
New
Reged: 07/13/08
Posts: 11
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I am the CP and moved out of our home....with the kids....to another town. He moved back in to our home, along with his girlfriend (not the one he left us for) and her daughter and is now living happily ever after. We are just legally separated....divorce to be final hopefully this winter.
I'm in another state, so I don't know if that makes a difference or not. But as for my case, NCP vs. CP in the home did not seem to make a difference to the judge whatsoever....as long as the best interest of the children was being considered. Since we came to an agreement ourselves, the judge just signed off.
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cedc
Platinum
Reged: 03/02/07
Posts: 560
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For what its worth, my x staying in the marital home and keeping the kids in the same district were the two deciding factors for custody in my case. She moves anywhere outside of the current district custody is reversed. I was also dealing with a kid stealer so my case is pretty extreme.
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My X makes Peg Bundy look good.
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5141
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I think if it turns out that he ends up with the house, it woudl be because he was awarded it at trial, because you're not agreeing for him to get it without the custody issues worked out, right?
OK... assuming that's true, when you go to trial, make it clear that the house needs to sell so that you can take the equity and move to a school district that's cheaper for you to live in. If that is what the judge has when he decides who gets the house, THEN a move would NOT be a change in circumstances.
Here's a similar situation. My husband knew, when we were dating, that our relationship was likely to continue. We decided to make it clear at the time of the divorce that we were planning to get married. That way, the ex (who everyone knows has been pretty evil with the way she's messed with the kid's minds and used every trick in the book to mess with hsi custody just to hurt him) would NOT be able to claim a "change in circumstances" just because we might get married. She would not be able to claim that this was bad for the kids at the time we said "I do", if she knew it was on it's way and did not mention it at the tiem of trial.
That's what I'm suggesting that you do. Make it abundantly clear that you will have to move and the kids will have to move with you, that staying in the overpriced neighborhood if it means living with the trashy girlfriend and her juvenile delinquent kids, would be worse for them than moving with you. And make that clear UP FRONT, so when it happens it will NOT be a change of circumstances.
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3257
Loc: Florida
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My 2nd ex owned the house before we got married...I asked for no equity from the improvements (and we are talking major repair stuff from replacing main beams of the house to adding central air/heat, new windows, paving driveway, new wrap around deck & privacy fencing).
I had already moved with the kids when he filed for divorce so he kept the house and refinanced to get my name off the loan.
First ex wouldn't leave me alone so I moved out of the mobile home we had with my daughter and our son and offered to give it to him...when he said he was moving out (a ploy to get me to move back in so he could continue to bother me), I sold it very cheap.
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