Divorce Support Forums: Here we go...

Last week, wife unexpectedly said she wanted out after 8 years of marriage (my 1st, her 2nd). We tried counseling in the past, but it would only go back to the same routine. She has given up on counseling and just wants out. I suspect that she has hooked up with someone else. She won't admit that there is someone in the wings, but I see the signs there. Today, we go see the lawyer. We have no kids and initially had an agreement, but due to circumstances, it appears to be breaking down. <wish me luck!>

One of my problems is that the area we live in is probably going to become a hostile environment to me. We moved to the town where she works (I work next town over). I am already very uncomfortable, nobody knows yet...but it will get out soon.

...which leads me to the next problem...our house. She wants to give me the house, but of course, I will have to refinance it, which I don't have the ability to do right now. Finances are tight now that we are 'living like roommates' and neither one of us have the means to move while the other keeps the house (Credit Wrecking 101), so we initially agreed to cohabitate until we get the divorce and eventually sell the house. The thing is that I am now getting an uneasy feeling about this. It seemed like a good idea at the time financially since we are acting civilly toward each other, but we have had some flare-ups over details. Once we pay the lawyer, I don't want to spend much time at my house for obvious reasons and the thought of another man coming in my house while I am away turns my stomach upside down and she knows this (which is why she is probably not telling me what I believe is the truth.) I basically don't have anyplace to go right now. If I get another place to live, I cannot pay my part of the house note. I also am not a vindictive person, set on ruining her credit for revenge, so I will keep my end of the obligation until we sell the house.

I write this today with a wounded heart, deflated spirit and know that I have a long road ahead. I just don't know, and may never know, what went wrong. She sees how this is affecting me and is insisting that I go to a doctor before I sink deep into a depression. I think that I am already there. I am not too much into medicating myself to happiness, I am seeking out help and support from this forum. Form what I have browsed through already, I think this forum will help me tremendously.