JTZ
New
Reged: 08/28/06
Posts: 3
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My wife of 20 years recently told me she feels "lonely" and wants to get therapy for herself. I think she's saying she's unhappy and is working her way toward divorce - when I asked her she said she is isn't sure what she wants. I feel threatened by that, but I don't want a divorce - we've got three kids and two are still at home. I'm wondering what I should do: start getting info about divorce? Wait and see? Any thoughts?
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3214
Loc: Florida
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You haven't said in this what YOU want.
Why don't you think about going to counseling on your own to figure that out before you jump into anything that might cause even more hard feelings in the long run.
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JTZ
New
Reged: 08/28/06
Posts: 3
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Thanks - that makes good sense. Right now, I know I want what's best for my kids, but, eventually, I need to also take care of #1.
I would really like to participate in a group session of people facing what I may be facing. Do you know of any resources for that? I live in Fairfield County. Thanks, again.
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adrenaline
Platinum
Reged: 03/21/06
Posts: 3892
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I think you did the right thing by coming here. Read some of the posts. See what it is really like. That might give you a better perspective on the situation. Don't be afraid to ask questions. We have a lot of opinions here and a lot of stories. I'll be willing to bet you can find a story just like yours.
Good Luck,
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The problem isn't the game; it is that nobody knows the rules.
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mistake#2
Platinum
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 3214
Loc: Florida
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I'm assuming Fairfield county is in Florida from your post, but I'm not real familiar with anything here.
I live in Hillsborough county, I had relocated from MI and I don't get out much - 3 kids makes it hard, we are too busy doing their activities.
I would say look in the government section of the phone book for community resources then contact them for support groups. Also some local churches might have divorced singles or divorce support groups - if your okay with that.
You'll have to do some research and be pro-active on seeking it out!
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boothby171
Platinum
Reged: 03/14/06
Posts: 1392
Loc: NY
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JTZ,
Do you,
1) Not want a divorce,
2) Want a happy, loving marriage, or
3) Want to look out for yourself
??
You never said (2)...
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--Boothby
My goal: Once a day, make someone laugh so hard that their soda comes out their nose
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JTZ
New
Reged: 08/28/06
Posts: 3
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True, I don't want a divorce, and also true that I want a good marriage and I want to take care of myself. Is that unreasonable? I know I can't focus only on myself and be in a good marriage, but my needs also should be met.
I think my biggest issue with divorce is that it signals failure and selfishness (unless there is obvious abuse or total incompatibility). If you're in a basically sound marriage, why throw it away because some things are not perfect for you?
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Jsands200
New
Reged: 06/21/06
Posts: 23
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Divorce is a very tricky game. Most men don't know the rules of the game, but they are strongly set up favoring women and mothers. If you think divorce is a possibility, you should be studying now so that if the unfortunate happens, you won't be behind the 8 ball because you could wind up losing a lot of time with your children and a lot of money to your wife. You don't have to spend a lot of money to get the tips you'll need. Many can be found on the net and you'll have a better idea of what you might be facing. The three main things divorce consists of are assets, child custody, and spusal support. Best wishes to you.
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Low alimony/child support?
http://mensdivorceblog.com
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