taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2460
Loc: standing on the mountaintop! :...
|
|
are the tween years when kids get all
nasty behaviored!?
i really thought it was in the teen years and im
pretty concerned!
my one child is right in the middle of the tween years
and has done a complete turn around in the negative direction lately.
this was my most compliant, obedient child.
fantastic grades, caring about others, obedient, etc.
behavior issues on the bus, school, and home
and a 'sassy' mouth all around.
weekly homework issues.
and overall lack of respect for authority in favor of wanting to impress friends.
what is going on here?!
im addressing the issues by trying to spend more time one on one, disciplining the behavior and addressing the homework issues as needed.
am i missing the mark somewhere
or is this normal?
i dont THINK it's divorce related
unless it's a backlash from being good the past year+ when
everything was new.
i was expecting this stuff way back when or
when i start working full time and we move and all that.
if this is the behavior now
im super concerned about what will happen when the
restraining order is lifted and my stbx's gf's super bad kids
are around to influence the kids.
help!
--------------------
taryn.
|
twins1
Platinum
Reged: 06/26/08
Posts: 312
Loc: PA
|
|
Taryn
I don't know how old she is but my gilrs are almost 11 yrs and in the 5th grade. i have to say last yr (before any mention of divorce) was a terrible yr for them. Homework issues , backtalking me like crazy!! however, i think that may have been a stage they were going thru. this yr is sooo much easier. even with the pending divorce. they are much more responsible and watch their mouths a little better. altho there are times when they gang up on me and i just want to run away!!!
i'm not sure how long this reprieve will last for us as like you said - the teen yrs are coming up quickly but for now i think that was just a stage. hopefully with yours it is too.
i really don't have any advice for you as i am just going day to day here my self except to be consistent!! i fail at that myself even tho i know better.
good luck.
--------------------
twinsmom
|
scbeck
Platinum
Reged: 12/29/07
Posts: 886
Loc: New Brunswick Canada
|
|
Taryn my daughter just hit the teen years and I am pretty much going through the same Jekyll and Hyde stuff you are. I am pretty sure drugs are not an issue and I haven't even detected drinking but the mouthyness, the defiance not going to school daily showing no interest in things that were once the most important thing in the world to her. I don't expect her to ask me to join her and her friends at the mall but she has gone so far as to order me not to even talk to her friends when I drive them around because I am embarrassing. I find her behaviour not only difficult to deal with but hurtful and some days I don't know if I will be able to guide her through these teen years to the other side as a responsible,polite caring adult. I do suspect that the years of fighting and then the divorce and her father leaving and not seeing him for months at a time and then the forced move to a new school and town is playing a part in this behavior. Who knows maybe it is still playing a part in my responses to her behavior.
Christine
Christine
--------------------
This is the first day of the rest of my life. Or maybe tomorrow will be.
|
liberated
Platinum
Reged: 10/02/07
Posts: 561
|
|
[quote] I don't expect her to ask me to join her and her friends at the mall but she has gone so far as to order me not to even talk to her friends when I drive them around because I am embarrassing. I find her behaviour not only difficult to deal with but hurtful and some days I don't know if I will be able to guide her through these teen years to the other side as a responsible,polite caring adult. [/quote]
Christine and Taryn...I too am dealing with teen angst amidst a divorce. My older three are all 16, 15, and 12. They are hard to read and harder to please. One day they'll be perfectly pleasant but as soon as something doesn't go their way or I try to make some demand on them, Betsy-bar-the-door!! :)
But Christine this stuck out to me. If my kids seriously told me this, it would be a LONG time before I drove them ANYWHERE. Common courtesy is not just for those best friends. Allowing her to treat you that way is not doing her any favors. Yes, I embarrass my kids, but they also know I love them and that I have feelings, too.
I am reading a book at the urging of my counselor for over a year. It's called Defiant Kids: A Parent's Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder by Dr. Douglas A. Riley. He points out that the term ODD scares many and it's more of a spectrum. My son is 15 and perfectly delightful with everyone but ME, his mother. With me, he's a little hellion! So, this is spot-on and I'm feeling hopeful that ths guy can give me helpful ways to deal with my son. I'll let you know.
--------------------
Kimberley
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit
Reply
Quote
