HeartOn
Platinum
Reged: 07/25/08
Posts: 446
Loc: In Limbo, NC
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"It must be so great to be perfect just the way you are."
That was meant in humor,but your humor comes across MUCH funnier than mine!I know you are tired of trying to change yourself to suit others,tired of figuring out what got you here....Tired of people judging you, tired of being disappointed in life,and love..and marriage.
We all are.Hang tough buddy!
WE can only do what we can do with our limitations.
I didn't mean to make you feel worse...really..I am sorry if I did.
How about a new thread.."WHAT IS RIGHT WITH ME?"
That would be a nice change, wouldn't it?
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The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.
Ben Stein
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CityGirl
Platinum
Reged: 06/11/08
Posts: 634
Loc: Texas
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Sarah - You were absolutely right. I finished reading that book, and it is about me personally. When I met my ex I worked out every day (except Sunday). I started skipping doing that to go see him. Eventually I quit going at all (well, my trainer made a pass at me, and I couldn't figure out what to do other than go somewhere else, and I never found another place that felt quite right, so I just quit going). I pretty much lost myself in the marriage completely. I had stopped doing any of the things I did before I got married because I had some kind of crazy belief that we should do everything together, which ended up being doing pretty much of nothing.
NEVER AGAIN!
All women should read this book. It is really not about women being bitches, but maintaining themselves and not losing themselves in a relationship.
THANKS SARAH! I plan to re-read that book often.
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hurtkat
Platinum
Reged: 08/08/08
Posts: 248
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I'm going to get the book right now...
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no contact, no contact, no contact...
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LoveChild
Platinum
Reged: 05/19/07
Posts: 291
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[quote]I don't know why I chose him. But I think I know why he chose me. His whole family liked me, his mom, his son, his sisters. They had never liked either of his previous ex's. I am a lot like his mom. I got along great with his whole family.
I also think he liked the chase. But, although I had been single for the previous 13 years, the one thing I hate, the one thing I cannot tolerate, is someone leaving me. And I told him that. I guess I shouldn't have because it apparently gave him all the power.
He was the opposite of most of what I am typically attracted to. Bald, tattos everywhere. I guess he was a "bad boy." But I could see that he had a soft side. But he sure didn't show it very long. [/quote]
I think this is your problem, as HK said. It's who you married. And he wasn't really your type. I had the same problem, choosing the wrong type/ settling, for some reason thinking that over time it would work.
But I stand by my opinion that guys who are mature and worth being with in the long run do not want a high maintenance beyotch that causes nothing but aggravation.
Younger guys who haven't been thru the grinder maybe, but not those of us who have.
I don't mind, however, spending SOME time with these types, as I do enjoy some confrontation, and am a bit of a masochist, but only part time.
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CityGirl
Platinum
Reged: 06/11/08
Posts: 634
Loc: Texas
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Well, I can tell you one thing for sure. There is this old saying that basically says to pay attention to how a guy treats his mom, because this is the way he will treat you. PFFFTTTT!!!!! He treated his mom like G-O-L-D! Nothing in the world means more to him than his mom. But he SURE NEVER treated me like that! So, there's one theory shot to hades!!
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Vanessagi66
New
Reged: 09/22/08
Posts: 6
Loc: Las Vegas, NV
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You're depressed. Plain and simple. You need to get into therapy and get out of the house. I know that sitting around the house all day makes me crazy. I obesess about everything. So I work or go to the gym. Part of my vengance to him is to make my body so perfect that he will regret every leaving me. Plus I need the exercise anyway lol. Just remember your kids need you too.
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taryn
Platinum
Reged: 05/31/07
Posts: 2460
Loc: standing on the mountaintop! :...
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i dont think youre depressed.
i think divorce just wreaks havoc on our emotional systems!
it's taken me way to long (according to like every friend i have) to get over my marriage ending.
i HATE cliches! but i htink it is a time thing.
and time must be relative depending on the person and circumstances.
i hope youre feeling better this week!
((hugs)))
taryn.
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taryn.
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CityGirl
Platinum
Reged: 06/11/08
Posts: 634
Loc: Texas
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Thanks Taryn. I am doing better this week. I had to go to the doctor today as I've been having some health problems. I have to get my thyroid checked in the morning, but he is confident that I am having a reaction to my anti-depressant medication! LOL! That's just too funny!! I was afraid I had cancer or something, so it was a relief to find out that was not the case. And I'm starting a diet and exercise plan. Oh, and my poker thing starts today too! I am just about to start living again!!!!
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lifeafterdeath
New
Reged: 09/22/08
Posts: 5
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I wonder why we allow someone to treat us so poorly. Girlfriend am right there with you. My soon to be ex is the most selfish person I ever met. Last week he wanted a lone which I gave him and this week he is asking me about a divorce. I think it is a family thing, his father who is suppose to be a minister og God is just as selfish as him. A few days he told someone to ask me for a lone ( The nerve of him). He refinaced his house and never even gave me a penny for his grand daughter after I told him his son was not taking care of his child. The day my divorce comes through I am going on a cruise.
I don't want to be a [censored]......only whole with a little self esteem.
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