hurtkat
Platinum
Reged: 08/08/08
Posts: 248
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Well guys - I'm back. =P
So I've been gone for a little over a month (since right after the last time I got to talk to him, actually) because I had an idea. I figured, if I was too busy to think straight, then I'd be to busy (and exhausted) to think about him. AND I'd definitely be to busy to call him. Since I needed to force "no contact" I figured this was a good plan.
So what did I do? I completely ripped apart my house and have been slowly putting it back together. We're talking about removing the ceiling in the basement, ripping out the bathroom upstairs (down to the wall studs), redoing all of the house plumbing, rebuilding some heaters... MAJOR remodeling here. I've been doing most of the work myself, which I thought would keep my mind off of things.
But it didn't work. I think about him more now than I have before. I still feel like I'm going crazy, thinking that I'll see him just around the corner. I was hoping that if I didn't call, he'd eventually call me - which also hasn't happened and is making me more depressed. I still have nightmares most nights where he's running away from me, or telling me he hates me, or he's puking at the sight of me, etc. (WTF is THAT all about??) I can't keep the "why's" and the "what if's" out of my head... Just the general s#!ttyness that comes with all of this crap.
So now that the house is almost done, what the hell am I going to do? Anyone have any better ideas?
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no contact, no contact, no contact...
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CityGirl
Platinum
Reged: 06/11/08
Posts: 634
Loc: Texas
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You can come work on MY house!!!
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phyzguy
Platinum
Reged: 05/15/08
Posts: 466
Loc: Cali
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Yes. Try a good team physical activity. It will be hard to focus at first- but soon, the good chemicals will be flowing.
Seriously, Taekwondo has really helped me cope. It gives me a goal (black belt) and confidence as I am toning out and passing my form tests.
So, who helped you rip up your house?
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Tibi ipsi esto fidelis
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phyzguy
Platinum
Reged: 05/15/08
Posts: 466
Loc: Cali
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Actually CityGirl has a better idea. I'd take her advice.
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Tibi ipsi esto fidelis
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hurtkat
Platinum
Reged: 08/08/08
Posts: 248
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[quote]Yes. Try a good team physical activity. It will be hard to focus at first- but soon, the good chemicals will be flowing.
Seriously, Taekwondo has really helped me cope. It gives me a goal (black belt) and confidence as I am toning out and passing my form tests.
So, who helped you rip up your house? [/quote]
I thought about getting back into Yoga. I'll have to commit to signing up for it now.
I've had some friends helping me with the heavy lifting (we just hauled 2400lbs of crap to the dump), and my uncle was visiting for a bit, so he helped too.
You know, I did all this stuff, and now I fell like I won't even enjoy it... I hate feelings. Sometimes I just wish that I didn't have any.
Poop.
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no contact, no contact, no contact...
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CityGirl
Platinum
Reged: 06/11/08
Posts: 634
Loc: Texas
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I'm righ there with you HurtKat. I keep trying to erase my ex from my memory, kinda like that idiotic movie I tried to watch with Jim Carey, something about the sunshine mind. Honestly, if you could do that, I think I'd do it and just go back a few years. And I'd feel younger too! LOL
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CityGirl
Platinum
Reged: 06/11/08
Posts: 634
Loc: Texas
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RIGHT. Sorry, I can't spell today. My arms are tired from mowing the yard!
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hurtkat
Platinum
Reged: 08/08/08
Posts: 248
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yeah - I've though about that movie a lot lately. Feels like he's definitely erased me!
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no contact, no contact, no contact...
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Divilish
Platinum
Reged: 09/14/08
Posts: 200
Loc: Dallas, TX
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While it has already been said, my house needs work!
I am about to start the process you did, mostly cleaning up from years of neglect and not major remodeling.
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hurtkat
Platinum
Reged: 08/08/08
Posts: 248
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OK - so I just started the yoga class. It was pretty fun, but the big news is that I actually DIDN'T think about him for about 5 min during the end of the class.
WOW! That's a first. Yeay for meditation! =)
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no contact, no contact, no contact...
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