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General Forums >> Life After Divorce
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jsmith2
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Reged: 05/15/08
Posts: 46
Loc: Ohio
Re: Why is my happiness attached to someone else? [Re: NHTom]
      #232584 - 09/22/08 01:08 PM (63.67.211.220)
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A little insight from someone that has moved around quite a few times.... Due to my stepfathers job, I moved around a bit when I was younger... Probably every few years. I can say that it is not as hard as it seems from the outside looking in. Yes, I was definitely upset at times about losing my friends. But I ALWAYS made new friends. I never really forgot about the old ones, but the new ones always kept me okay. As a result, I have friends all over the place and have lived in quite a few places, an experience I am not sure I would trade.

***edit***
I read your other post in here and it looks like there is more going on than just the issue of moving. I never really got along with my parents, and still dont... but from what you describe, there is more. I would focus more on the other issues (or at least defining the other issues) and not so much on the actual move. Most people I know that had to deal with situations like moving were able to handle it when they were teenagers.


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Down
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Reged: 12/19/06
Posts: 464
Re: Why is my happiness attached to someone else? [Re: scbeck]
      #232592 - 09/22/08 01:30 PM (207.250.91.193)
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I just wanted you to know that I'm here and I'm listening. My daughter is going through the same things. Yesterday was another day in hell and I can't even bring myself to write about it anymore. Beyond loving her and trying to keep her from destroying herself, I don't have a clue what to do anymore. I'm exhausted. I'd like to say some things to lift you up out of this but all I can do is say I hear you and I know what you are going through. Take care.

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twins1
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Reged: 06/26/08
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Re: Why is my happiness attached to someone else? [Re: Nish]
      #232638 - 09/22/08 03:47 PM (168.133.61.130)
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Nish
When you had your talk with your daughter did she say why she did and said those things to you?? Was it just teen yrs??

Down - how old is your daughter?

--------------------
twinsmom


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twins1
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Reged: 06/26/08
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Re: Why is my happiness attached to someone else? [Re: Down]
      #232639 - 09/22/08 03:48 PM (168.133.61.130)
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After my D is final - I'm wondering if there is a forum like this for single parents raising teens????

--------------------
twinsmom


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Down
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Re: Why is my happiness attached to someone else? [Re: twins1]
      #232642 - 09/22/08 04:06 PM (207.250.91.193)
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My daughter is 15. In the last 2 years she has seen her sister go through a 3rd spinal surgery, had an online boyfriend (unbeknownst to me) break up with her and mess with her head, had her parents (the X & I) get a divorce, and her Grandma (my Mom) had a stroke. All of that on top of a recent ADD & depression diagnosis. I don't know which came first but it is an awful lot for me to manage let alone a teenage girl. She used to be very shy, sweet, & creative. Now she is often either in tears, hates everyone & herself, or arrogant. I wonder if the diagnosis is correct, so many of these things overlap. I would chalk it all up to the usual teenage angst if she didn't sometimes talk suicide. This is the hell that has become my life & I, like Christine am so connected to my child that I feel like I'm going down with her.

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malone
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Re: Why is my happiness attached to someone else? [Re: scbeck]
      #232733 - 09/23/08 06:02 AM (216.9.247.67)
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Christine

It sounds to me like your daughter might be being bullied at school - the put down, exclusion, isolation kind of bullying that is hard to detect.

She could be reacting to your divorce,but I worry that her behavior seems more linked to her own school activities and circle of friends.

Have you talked to a friend of hers who you trust about how things are at school?

Some of the parents here know about bullying. I recall I posted a thread here on it and lots of people had experience with it.


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twins1
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Reged: 06/26/08
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Re: Why is my happiness attached to someone else? [Re: Down]
      #232737 - 09/23/08 09:09 AM (168.133.61.130)
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Down and Christine
I really feel your pain. That must be so incredibly hard to deal with everyday of your life. Without a husband toi help too! I'm worried about that happening too. I tell my stbx that he will need to be a "father" too not just a disney dad - just for this reason. I worry as I can tell they are back-talking me more now than ever before. I wonder is this all it will be or will it get worse? I am trying to spend more time with them and I talkerd to them and explained that when their dad moves out then they will have to have alot more responsiblility. they both said they are ok with that. One opf them I even taught to make macs n cheese last nite. we had a good time.

I am extremely fearful that once their dad leaves and they get a little older that it all may "hit the fan!" I sure don't know what I would do. I think tough love may be the way to go.

So obviously I have no words of advice - just know their are others out here rooting for you both.

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twinsmom


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scbeck
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Reged: 12/29/07
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Re: Why is my happiness attached to someone else? [Re: malone]
      #232875 - 09/23/08 10:26 PM (99.252.97.150)
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Malone I have thought of that more than once but she denies it and if it is happening then it happened at 2 different schools. My worry is that she is part of the crown that tends to at least socially bully others and within the group it is common for some of them to get isolated. Especially amongst the girls. The things that go on just boggle my mind and they all think it is normal and OK to treat each other badly. I just can't understand what happened to my polite happy courteous child?

Christine

ps moving tomorrow. Wish me luck in the days to come.

--------------------
This is the first day of the rest of my life. Or maybe tomorrow will be.


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