cedc
Platinum
Reged: 03/02/07
Posts: 560
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What is the custody status? How did ppr not get designated in your decree? Even if you have 50/50 in this state someone has to have that designation for a legal address for the children as well as for school.
I can't believe a Jersey judge actually signed off on a CS arrangement worded like that.
CS is supposed to be a solid number not a maybe.
You do need to tighten up your paperwork, but before doing so, do some groundwork first.
This may take a little time but your going to have to document the time that your X is NOT exercising his parenting time. Overnight percentages, additional income, expenses you are incurring etc. Put it on paper so you can justify the increase.
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My X makes Peg Bundy look good.
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ssrachel
Platinum
Reged: 05/23/07
Posts: 2070
Loc: a better place :)
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that's what i'm doing now. i'm not even requesting an increase. i just want a set, solid amount, deducted from his pay, so i don't have to 1) have him question and scrutinize every receipt and cancelled check i present him 2) not have to wait weeks for reimbursement.
the other issue is getting him these receipts or other paperwork pertaining to the girls. i know it sounds silly, but the times i've handed him a folder or envelope, somehow he never received it. so in our divorce decree, he is to provide me with his email address or i can fax any paperwork. well, he never gave me an email address AND his phones are shut off (which of course means no email either). i have three situations where he missed a school function, a girl scout function and one of my daughter's friends birthday parties because he said i never gave him the info. all three times, he did receive the info deliverd to him by either me or my dad when he picked up the girls. so because the phone is off again, i've certified mail the info AND requested that he pay. and i've included the certified mail receipts. he refuses that and says it is bullshit and there is no reason i just can't hand him the stuff.
the girl scout function he missed was heartbreaking. it was a bridging up ceremony where my daughter was moving up. he didn't show. when my daughter called him that night to say good night and she asked what he did that night, he informed her that he just got back from the movies with "t" (the then gf, now wife). i could hear my daughter's voice drop so low when she said "oh, ok" and i could hear the tears in her voice. THAT is why i need proof that i've provided him with all the necessary info regarding the girls' functions.
sorry i'm rambling about this stuff, but it is really starting to piss me off. i don't see other divorced families doing this shit. all the divorced families around me seem to get a long just fine. i hate this!
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What you reap is what you sow and so it goes...
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3463
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You said:
the other issue is getting him these receipts or other paperwork pertaining to the girls. i know it sounds silly, but the times i've handed him a folder or envelope, somehow he never received it. i've certified mail the info AND requested that he pay. and i've included the certified mail receipts. he refuses that and says it is bullshit and there is no reason i just can't hand him the stuff.
My response:
Yet, when you hand it to him, he claims he never got it.
Certified mail is the best way to go. Because the post office will note if he refuses to sign for it. E-mail, all he has to do is not read it and claim he never got. There is no hard proof that he is refusing to co-operate.
His refusing to sign for the receipts isn't going to go over well with the judge.
NJ takes parenting time into consideration, and you are pretty close to 50/50, so you may actually pay him child support since you make more.
Rather than file for child support, file to have a set amount of time for reimbursement (within 30 days of when he refused to sign for the receipts is suffecient) rather than leaving it open ended.
And, no, they aren't going to take any loss that he is showing from his self employment out of his wages from his employer.
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Samsung
Platinum
Reged: 06/14/07
Posts: 2210
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"And, no, they aren't going to take any loss that he is showing from his self employment out of his wages from his employer."
This can vary if the self-emloyment business is not incorporated, and the loss is shown directly on his W-2, rather than a corporate P-L statement. It is also up to the court's descretion. Smaller losses are apt to be deducted from income. For example, if he made $50K, but showed a $40K loss, it would be very rare the full loss would be counted. But, if he made $50K, and had a $5K loss, it would more apt to be deducted.
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5141
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I always worry when people come up with situations for ongoing support (whether child support or alimony) or continued connection with property issues (like not taking each other's names off the house or the house loan or keeping the business going in both names or whatever)... because it almost always ends up with problems.
Remember Mistake agreeing to let one of her exes pay for the kids' back to school clothing rather than child support? They actually designated stuff like how many pairs of shoes & jeans & stuff like that would control the extravagance or penny pinching... and then he tells this TEEN that he has a $20 budget for 2 pairs of shoes and lets the kid have at it in the store... RIIIIIGHT... that's a couple pair of shoes that the teen will be able to wear all year without problems or complaints or shredding!
Or when you moved out on the theory that he was going to just move in and maintain the business? Like he was not goign to find a way to take advantage ... and he found a great way almost immediately by impregnating his married girlfriend and moving her & her brood into the tiny house so that he'd be too distracted to maintain the stupid business in the first place!
Nah... I know people don't trust thier legislators, lawyers & otehr lawmakers, but for heavens' sake... EVERY time people try to get creative and go off the books to resolve things in a way not usually done... EVERY TIME... someone ends up feeling like they've been given the shaft.
And interestingly, teh ones who jump in to say, "no, it's working WELL for MY kids... or ME... "... they're the ones whose EXES are getting the shaft... (or their kids).
Sad... but so much better to just figure out at the outset what the standard support amounts would be rather than try to get creative and complicate up the situation.
Sigh.
Glad you're trying to figure out the formula finally... it'll probably end up with you gettting more, more regularly. And while I'm not familiar with how NJ does everything, I have a feelign the judge isnt' goign to allow him to take a loss on the side business and claim it should be given as a credit to himself on child support, so you're probably golden on that one.
Good luck.
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ssrachel
Platinum
Reged: 05/23/07
Posts: 2070
Loc: a better place :)
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i know, i know....just say it: "i told you so".
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What you reap is what you sow and so it goes...
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3463
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[quote]"And, no, they aren't going to take any loss that he is showing from his self employment out of his wages from his employer."
This can vary if the self-emloyment business is not incorporated, and the loss is shown directly on his W-2, rather than a corporate P-L statement. It is also up to the court's descretion. Smaller losses are apt to be deducted from income. For example, if he made $50K, but showed a $40K loss, it would be very rare the full loss would be counted. But, if he made $50K, and had a $5K loss, it would more apt to be deducted. [/quote]
An employer isn't going to add an employee's loss from his/her side business to the employee's W-2 form.
A loss from a side business, especially given how easy it is to show a loss and not report all of your income, is not going to be deducted from employment wages for child support purposes. The IRS is a different matter and allows far more deductions than child support calculations do.
For one thing, it could be viewed that the ncp is deliberately trying to lower his/her support by running a business at a loss in hopes of it lowering his/her income.
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5141
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What I want is for you to see this so that you will tell others. People don't believe ME when I tell them... people go off on all kinds of tangents & say they're doing what's best for the kids and ... well, their current discomfort level is so high that they're willing to chew off their foot to get out of the trap of the divorce courts... and then a year later they find out that they needed thier foot.
You are one who has been through this very clearly and can very clearly describe to others when they describe plans to go down that same path (well... that DIFFERENT Path... it's an issue of people getting creative and the problem is that it's a different stupid path every time)...
I believe that if you use your experience to help save others from the same mistakes... it'll come back to you in the form of good karma from other sources... we never know WHAT exactly it'll come back as, but it WILL come back.
I won't say, "I told you so", because you remember it and I don't need to remind you. You were in pain and doing the best you could and I couldn't find the words to figure out hwo to stop you from doing it! Best I can do is point it out so that you'll maybe be able to tell the next person who goes there... because having been RIGHT there you may have a better handle on how to explain it to someone else who is in that pain and determined to go there in the false belief that it will save them the pain of litigating it!
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