momann
New
Reged: 03/17/08
Posts: 4
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My sister FINALLY left the idiot she married over 20 years ago. He is a control-freak and we're quite sure a sexual predator wannabe. She left because he touched one of her daughters inappropriately several times. That daughter is now an adult. No charges were filed. There are 2 teen daughters who have been ordered to have the basic visitation schedule with him. They do not want to spend that much time with him. He yells at them, ignores one daughter and constantly tries to engage the other one (he thinks she is prettier). His defense in court was that the mom got the daughters to make up things in order to get her way in the divorce. It seems like a 15 and 17 year old would have some say in the visits, but the judge never spoke to them. Mom doesn't have a full -time income and the attorney fees have been huge, so going back to court where they didn't listen anyhow is a hard choice.
Does anyone have ideas about what the girls could do for
themselves? CPS looked at this case again, but they did not go back to the original complaint and decided there wasn't enough for them to be involved.
Thanks for any help.
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CityGirl
Platinum
Reged: 06/11/08
Posts: 634
Loc: Texas
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My daughter is 16 and she never sees her dad. I just told him that it was up to her if she wanted to see him or not, that I would not make her go. She does not want to go so she doesn't. His only recourse would be to file suit against me to enforce his visitation, and he doesn't have any money to do that anyway. Besides, the judge is not going to make her go when she doesn't want to when she's that old anyway.
That's my two cents anyhow.
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fairlady
Bronze
Reged: 09/08/08
Posts: 45
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I've gone through this myself ! The court mediator (one tough freaking cookie !) Told my ex that when a child becomes of a certain age . The court really can't force a child to go . My daughter is now 17 .... Was 15 at the time .And it hasn't been enforced nor has he even tried !!!!!!!! Sad Huh ? I would at least fight ..... but he hasn't !
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momann
New
Reged: 03/17/08
Posts: 4
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Thank you for both replies. Our problem is he most likely would fight - that's his whole reason for existence. Not the girls, the control and somehow being connected to my sister. She is terrified that she would lose custody if they went to court again. Anyhow, I'm thinking that if the girls were able to speak for themselves, it would help them with dealing w/him as well as just recovering from the ridiculous situation they all had living with him.
The way the decree reads she is supposed to "deliver" them to him but how do you really "deliver" a 15 year old?
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fairlady
Bronze
Reged: 09/08/08
Posts: 45
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I'm telling you . My court mediator was TOUGH ! Even so .... she even said that a judge isn't really going to "force" a child of that age to go ..... It gets tougher to make them go as they get older she said . Even though they really can't make their own decisions about certain things. This is really one a judge is willing to let them make .....
The way I see it . Is why make a child mad at both parents ? If he or she really doesn't want to be forced to visit ? That only makes it tougher on the child.
I DO for those of you just chomping at the bits at my answer . I do believe that the child should have contact with both parents . I'm just not going to ruin my relationship with my child for the sake of someone who has wronged her .
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