junelydia
New
Reged: 09/28/08
Posts: 4
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I left an abuser in May,did my homework,planned the move,changed utilities to my name ect.He is bi polar and almost ruined us financially.He is living in the home w/a $70,000 mortgage.No equity,we owned this outright till he bullied me into signing it for collateral for a business loan.He made bad deals,blah blah,then wouldn't work for 2 years.Kept afloat w/payments,insurances ect. w/his 401K.That's gone.The bank is going to redo the business loan w/a more afordable payment for 20 years.He has a truck,excavater,bulldozer ect. that was purchased w/the loan.I moved and am living in a park,in a 30 yo mobile home that I am owner financing.My 84 yo father lives w/me.I am disabled and get approx.$700.00 mo. which is not enough to live on.We have been married 10 years.I now find out he is trying to do his own divorce and getting help from some woman he met online.He seems to think if he blindsides me with papers,I will give him everything,home,equipment ect. cause he will be paying the business loan.Well,crap on that,but I don't have money for a lawyer,obviously,so any advice would be appreciated.I live in Maine.Thanks!
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ILMom
Gold
Reged: 12/03/07
Posts: 145
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You are in a terrible situation.
My ex is bipolar and a drug addict. I had to buy him out of the house. He spent $130K of the $180K settlement in 3 months. He just had his 9th car accident in 3 1/2 years and almost lost his foot.
The first thing you should do is find some lawyers that will give you a free consultation to at least get the "big picture" of what you can expect given your situation. Second, I've heard there are some lawyers that will work for free, for those who can't afford one. You would probably need to call around to find them. Three, don't sign anything without an attorney looking over the papers. And don't be bullied by him. If he is like my ex he has the typical over-inflated sense of self-worth coupled with a belligerent and angry attitude.
I would say you may be able to get your ex to pick-up some of your lawyers fees but the reality is he will spend everything he gets his hands on. Spending sprees are a symptom of bipolar.
Even though you are disabled I suggest you find a job, even if it is part-time. Many disabled people are able to find something to do. The odds are you aren't getting anything financial out of this marriage.
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junelydia
New
Reged: 09/28/08
Posts: 4
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Thanks for the advice.I never knew about bi polar;wish I had known he was and what ramifications were associated with it before I married him The spending sprees were the worst.He had credit cards in his own name and we have refinanced our other house 4 times to pay them off(the house finally sold for way less than market value;hence the $70,000 still owed to the bank on the business loan.I am going to get on the phone today and see about getting a low income lawyer. I will keep you posted.Thanks again!
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dramanomore
Gold
Reged: 09/24/08
Posts: 170
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You might want to look into legal aid groups. They provide free service for low income lawyers. A really good resourse for legal aide is actually your local Bar Association. Call them and they will be able to help you out.
Also, I agree with the above poster. Don't sign anything, no matter how wonky he gets about it.
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div2wice
Silver
Reged: 09/05/08
Posts: 73
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First off... GOOD FOR YOU! You were strong, made a plan and got out. That is something to be very proud of.
My husband is BiPolar, this condition has so many facets, its amazing....
Obviously he's not on meds, so you need to watch yourself. As the other poster said do not sign one single thing without reading every bit of it, and consulting with a lawyer. Since it seems uncontested you could go with a doc service, however his mental instability makes it a lot more difficult and it would be so much better if you went through a lawyer. Try to find one who is Pro Bono and also contact Legal Aid. There are people out there who will help you, you just have to find them.
Again, don't give him a thing. Don't sign anything and demand alimony so you can start over.
Be safe,
--------------------
Pamela
Do-It-Yourself Divorce
http://document-do-it-yourself-service.com/
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