leftjava
New
Reged: 05/24/08
Posts: 1
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Wow, been there, done that.....Can't tell you that it will ever change. Sad for your son to see that because if he's like my 'soon to be ex', he will think that it is an acceptable way to relate. I am sorry though, I know it hurts. Gottman says that people who do that are just as critical on themselves...if that helps
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Matt247
New
Reged: 06/21/08
Posts: 4
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I verbaly abused my wife for years, and now shes leaving me. Funny thing is, i did'nt even know it was abuse up until the day she told me she dont love or want me anymore. I had an affair and stuffed up her life compleatly. She moved, i moved....neither of us happy, both missing the other. I came back, she tried................so hard now it makes my heart break. I had to leave, more due to the financial situaition, and was away for 8 months. Again, she wanted me back, so i came..............and really tried this time. We had hardly had a crossed word since october but now shes done with me, out of love.
I just wanted to say, that not all women portrayed on here are cast iron bitches, im getting all i deserve. And it goes to show you dont know wot you got till its gone...................cos i'd do anything to have my gorgeous wife back in my home.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3463
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You can always get counseling to help you stop being abusive. That may help in your next relationship.
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Matt247
New
Reged: 06/21/08
Posts: 4
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I already am. I dont think words can describe how disgusted i feel with myself right now.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3463
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[quote]I already am. I dont think words can describe how disgusted i feel with myself right now. [/quote]
Admitting that you have a problem and getting help for it is a major step towards not doing it again.
You can't do anything about the past, but you can (and are) doing something about the future.
And that is something that you should be proud of. Not everyone would admit what you have done and take steps to stop it.
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Matt247
New
Reged: 06/21/08
Posts: 4
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It just seems to me that i have a particular nasty streak. Im not violent towards my wife but i do make hurtful and sarcastic comments on a daily basis. Looking back she has done all she can to help and support me and all i've done is hurt and abuse her for a number of years. Only now am i realising that my life is running parralel to my fathers, (he was abusive to my mother but on a much larger scale}, he died at 64 years old, a lonley and hopeless alcoholic. I think i've identified the reasons why i've behaved like i have and am takeing steps to stop it but its too little to late for my wonderful missus. I truley feel like i have nothing left and im so so sorry.
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tigersnow0214
New
Reged: 06/24/08
Posts: 4
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OMG - everything you just described, except for the children is what I feel like I'm suffering through now. My husband is ex-military and everytime he's been abusive with me I've threatened to call the police but I never have...he tells me that's the end.
Now what the heck is wrong with me that I will stay with someone who treats me like crap, but tells me he loves me?
I don't understand how I can be so mixed up inside?
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stevensjanice
New
Reged: 10/05/08
Posts: 4
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honey im sorry for what you r feelin right now but i to was in a abusive relationship and there are times that i still miss him,but now i look at it like this,even though ther are times that i miss him,and i am lonely ,i not scared of what is gonna happen next or when he walks out the door who is he with. and when he does walk in the door what is it gonna b this time verbal os phisical. just hang in there babe,be strong but you must let him go,the hurt and the pain is not worth it
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