FrustratedinMO
Gold
Reged: 07/17/08
Posts: 114
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I know I made mention to this many times but my X and "the other woman" are officially parents as of OCT 1. I know it shouldn't bother me but I'm crushed! I just keep thinking that should have been us!
Anyone got any words of wisdom to help me through this "milestone" of saddness?
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LookingUp
New
Reged: 10/04/08
Posts: 7
Loc: Atlantic Canada
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I'm sure the "what should have beens" and "what could have beens" will attack us many times in the future. I understand why you're feeling crushed. I'm sure you'd dreamed for years of the day you'd have his baby. Now that dream is shattered - and more than shattered, is being lived-out by someone who is not you. That is so unfair.
I've often heard the best revenge is living well. I know how hard it is to live above the pity-parties. But I'm trying to be a party-pooper and not stay in the pity-parties. Much easier to type then to do.
For me, I've found playing music (now that stbEx gave me my instruments), journaling, and helping others who are having struggles often help me climb out of the pit of despair and find a few moments of hope.
LookingUp
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hurtkat
Platinum
Reged: 08/08/08
Posts: 248
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I have no word of wisdom for you, since I have not been there myself. BUT I do have a hug... sometimes that's what helps me best. =)
{{{{{{{{{{{FrustratedinMO}}}}}}}}}}}
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no contact, no contact, no contact...
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maybetexas
Gold
Reged: 07/27/08
Posts: 157
Loc: Dallas
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Hey there, Actually my boyfriend of about 5 years (way before I got married), had a one night stand and got a girl pregnant. It was the most painful thing I have ever been through, and honestly it took me many years to get over it. Even after I had married, I still thought "that b*tch has my life". That has been about 10 years ago and I just recently got to the point where it did not bother me anymore. He ended up marrying her and they have another child too. For years (even while married) I still wondered why this other woman (who is also named Heather) had my life. Honey, the only thing I can tell you is to pray for strength and time will help. Everything happens for a reason and there IS a reason this happened to you. Whatever is thrown at us as challenges, we are doubly rewarded later with graces. We deal with the pain, but at some point the pain is replaced by a greater joy. It will come, but I know it's not easy. Hang in there!!
Hugs, Heather
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______________________________________________
Combating loneliness one small step at a time.
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FrustratedinMO
Gold
Reged: 07/17/08
Posts: 114
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Thanks so much guys :) I feel better today- this may sound odd but I actually feel like the betrayal is complete. This other life he was living, the lies, the fake I love yous, the woman taking over my life, it's all complete and I can FINALLY really start putting it behind me. I know this may sound crazy but I guess I was waiting for this day, waiting for the child to be born so I could finally say, "Ok that's it, it's done he has his life, it's really truly over. I was thrown aside but one day I will find a much better life than he could have ever given me and I instead of loathing this girl, pitty her cause I know the charm he lays on in the begining and now there is a poor innocent child in the middle. May he have really changed for their sakes."
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