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General Forums >> Life After Divorce
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germangirl631
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Reged: 04/04/08
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You'd think he'd want to know he's divorced
      #234373 - 10/06/08 09:39 AM (63.127.202.141)
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He's the one who ASKED for the divorce!!

My X is the ultimate ass. We were divorced 2 weeks ago. He didn't show up. Now, his "best friend" (who I am also friends with) just told me he told him "hey buddy! you didn't know you've been single for 2 weeks? Hell, yeah. You're divorced!!" His best friend is also tired of my x's stupid crap that he's pulling on everyone he knows. Everyone is tired of the x's crap. It seems to be some sort of mid-life crisis where he's reverted back to being a completely irresponsible 17 year old.

Anyway, now I'm sitting and waiting for the repercussions of him not showing up to the hearing, or responding to any of the settlement paperwork - which he had MONTHS to reply to or contest. The judge imputed income to him based on his last known real job, since he never submitted any recent pay information. so, his CS calculation was based on that.
The judge also wrote into a ruling that the x is only allowed to appeal based on information previously submitted (which wasn't much because he dropped out of the picture in the middle of the divorce process).

Should I be afraid? Can he do anything to me? The fact that this person has so much power over me (I know, it's only because I let him) makes me want to vomit. I haven't spoken to him in about 10 months. And the last conversation was about 30 seconds long, and discussed when I would be back to pick up our son from their visit.

I see why no contact works wonders. But I sit here, wondering WTH is going on in my x's mind and what he's possibly scheming up.

I'm not really sure if any of this made sense. I guess I'm just venting and trying to collect my thoughts.


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justme1961
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Re: You'd think he'd want to know he's divorced [Re: germangirl631]
      #234385 - 10/06/08 12:12 PM (74.201.16.124)
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Oh ya, it makes sense.

For years I wondered what my ex would pull next. I worried about him trying to get custody. He always had an issue with paying child support and alimony. Everyone told me “oh, he travels that won’t be an issue”. Well, they were all wrong. Yes, I obsessed about it, yes I drove my husband crazy with my worrying, but in the end I was 100% correct with my suspicions.

He also seems to have fallen off the face of the Earth. He owes me $500 to cover my legal fees to bring contempt charges on him (it actually cost me about $7500-but the judge felt that was excessive). He was supposed to pay it by August 16th. Never happened. I sent him an e-mail last week asking when he intended on paying. No response. Maybe that is my answer right there. He does not intend on paying me because even if I take him to court for contempt NOTHING will happen. So he gets off the hook. The court system sucks!

And, now he is back with his drug addict wife. So I can expect more delusional thinking. My son does not seem to care if he does not see his father. He talks with him on the phone, but that is about it.


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mfergel
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Re: You'd think he'd want to know he's divorced [Re: germangirl631]
      #234387 - 10/06/08 12:19 PM (171.159.192.10)
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LOL.

Reminds me a bit of a girl I met a few weeks ago. Her and her ex are separated. She still wants to fix the marriage but he just keeps telling her get over with it. Move on......I did. He told her in May that he was going to take care of filing the separation and still hasn't done it. I told her she needs to take care of it. That he just wants to keep her as a backup and that it is preventing her from moving on, so she started filling out the paperwork last week. He's probably going to be very surprised when she presents him with the paperwork.

--------------------
Damn it's good to laugh again.


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hurtkat
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Re: You'd think he'd want to know he's divorced [Re: mfergel]
      #234391 - 10/06/08 12:58 PM (69.204.180.130)
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LOL. Yeah - During my first divorce (which he asked for), he never filed the papers. I was a broke student at the time, but I finally got off my @$$ and paid the $500 to get the papers drawn up. (Doesn't seem like a lot, but that was over 2 months rent for me!)

The look on his face when I showed up 'out of the blue' and said, "Sign here please." was priceless...

Some guys just are irresponsible losers. I think that even if they showed some responsibility during the marriage (most likely because you pushed them to), they swing in the complete opposite - and extreme direction afterwards. I wouldn't worry about him scheming. Even if he is, he still has to get his @$$ off the couch... and I doubt that will happen.

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no contact, no contact, no contact...


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mistake#2
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Re: You'd think he'd want to know he's divorced [Re: germangirl631]
      #234446 - 10/06/08 11:33 PM (24.94.123.111)
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Yeah, my first ex didn't show up to court either. For some reason he thought if he didn't show that it wouldn't be final. He even tried telling me that the courthouse was closed due to inclement weather so that I wouldn't go...imagine his surprise when I told him that the final divorce papers were on the front seat of his car. He tried "buying" me back by giving me an expensive watch the same morning before I left for court (one that he stole from his mother who got it as a Christmas gift the week before, but that's another whole story). Thinking back, wow was it crazy. Yes, I initiated the divorce but being that he had a child with his best friends wife you'd think he would have stopped trying to pursue me. He didn't stop for another 4 years and that was only after he married her.
Some people are just idiots. You can't explain their actions or reactions or lack there of...no point in even trying.


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