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General Forums >> Domestic Abuse
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BrianChicago
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Reged: 10/04/08
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Help Please!
      #234206 - 10/04/08 01:38 AM (98.215.183.141)
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I have a 13yo son who I have shared custody since he was 6 months old when I split with his mother. We never went to court, we agreed that I would take him every Friday after school thru Sunday evening and he would be with me on all school holidays and the entire summer. He has never had a healthy relationship with his mother but with the laws the way they are I was too scared to go for full custody until he was old enough to speak his mind, plus I was worried she would flee with my son to her home country Greece. I have been waiting patiently for almost 14 years. Well the time finally came last tuesday when he told his mom he wanted to move out because he couldnt take living with her anymore. At first she said go ahead and he started to pack and he called me on the phone saying he was moving out. Then she got mad when she saw he was serious and yelled at him telling him he was her property until 18yo. They had a huge fight she tried to hit him with her fist and threatened him with a frying pan. Then she stormed out leaving him home alone and when she came back she said her 33yo brother would be over to hurt him real back if he didnt listen to her. He called me crying. This was all at 10pm on a school night. I tried to talk to her but it was no use she hung up on me and disconnected the phones. I called her brother and told him if he touched my son I would press charges, he seemed to understand I wasnt playing around. I went over to my sons mom's home the following day to make sure he was not harmed, and she called the police on me thinking the police will always take a womans side no matter what. The police realized after talking to me that she was more interested in playing games than working things out properly and they told me there was nothing they could do and I needed to stay away from the house but I wasnt charged with anything but would be if I came back. I called my son's school principle, he was nice but no help. I called DCFS they were nice but since my son wasnt showing any physical marks there was nothing they could do. Now his mother is hiding my son from me. She only allows him to call me to say good night and to tell me he loves me while she stands next to him, he cant say anything else, when I ask a question he just repeats he loves me. Many in the community knows my sons mother is not right in the head. I have had mothers I dont know tell me if I ever go to court please let them know they would testify on my behalf. Tonight I found out that she is taking him to counseling (most likely to cover her incident of hitting him since I told the police) and my son is not allowed talk to me or my family because we are telling him he is growing up in a bad environment, which is not true, foolishly we try and pretend its not so bad over there all these years because of exactly what is happening now. It seems like she is trying to brainwash him or at the very least blame the mess on him like he is some troble kid. I dont know what to do, the things I can prove even with witnessess no one will listen too. I know he is scared of his mother, she has always threatened him with violence. I dont know what to do. I know if the counselor is smart enough to have my son speak with him or her alone for a while they will get the truth but if his mother is sitting there he will say whatever he needs to to keep her happy because he's not stupid; he knows hes going home with her after the counseling session. I dont know what to do. The mother needs a mental eval and my son needs peace in his life. And I need my son back in my life. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Im going to court in 3 weeks but 3 weeks is a long time. Thank you in advance for your help.

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junelydia
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Reged: 09/28/08
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Re: Help Please! [Re: BrianChicago]
      #234686 - 10/08/08 09:11 PM (76.179.175.33)
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Hi! You could probably try to go to court yourself without a lawyer to get custody,but not a good idea.If I was you,I would get online and search fathers rights.There are tons of articles and you can maybe have a father's rights agency tell you the best way to go about getting him away from the crazy mother before she does any more damage.I believe I read somewhere at his age;the judge could ask him where he wants to live and the judge would make the decision in his best interests.I will hope for the best for you,June

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malone
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Re: Help Please! [Re: BrianChicago]
      #237005 - 10/24/08 09:30 PM (219.89.226.209)
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I strongly recommend you repost this post in the M<en's Rights section of the forum. There are guys who only post in the that forum who are experts or highly experienced in matters like your situation.

Good luck.


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ILMom
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Reged: 12/03/07
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Re: Help Please! [Re: BrianChicago]
      #237143 - 10/25/08 06:36 PM (76.16.134.112)
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It seems to me that a GAL (Guardian Ad Litem) may be appropriate. This is someone, often a lawyer, who represents the child. They research the situation and make recommendations to the court about what would be in the best interests of the child.

You probably will need to pay for the GAL but it may the best way to cut through all your ex'es bull$hit.


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