mom-of-2
New
Reged: 08/18/08
Posts: 3
Loc: Pennsylvania
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I have finally reached a point were I want out of my marriage. I have been married 16 years, but unhappy for the last 6 or so years. We have had a really rough 2 years and i have tried to stay, thinking things will get better. He has always been a controlling, jealous person. When he doesn't get his way, he resorts to screaming and insulting. He will call me every name he can think of and when that doesn't seem to have its desired effect, he insults every thing I have ever done or said that he doesn't agree with. I have 2 children that he has started to verbally abuse, also.
He has threatened to hit me a few times in the past, but has not followed thru, yet. Instead, he has broke pictures and punched walls. I have placed a lawyer on retainer, but have been afraid to have the papers filed because I am afraid of his reaction.
The few friends I have tell me to file the papers and file a PFA at the same time. Can I file a PFA based on verbal threats? He hasn't threatened me recently. I had the police at my house once because I was truely afraid he would hit me. He has been on his best behavior for the last 2 months, but he's "due" for one of his temper tantrums. I don't know if I can take any more.
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dramanomore
Gold
Reged: 09/24/08
Posts: 170
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Have a friend or family memember present when you give him the papers. That should keep the drama to a minimum. And, if he does start acting out in a dangerous fashion, have your cell phone ready and call the police.
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allthumbs
Platinum
Reged: 07/12/07
Posts: 560
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If you fear he will hurt you or the children, you should probably not be around. Go stay with your parents and take the kids. Papers are not served by the spouse anyway. Your attorney can file them for you and arrange to have your husband served. That is probably the safest thing to do. This will look bad for him but in a way, you are doing him a favor. This way, when he gets served the petition, you and the children will not be there for him to yell at or threaten.
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div2wice
Silver
Reged: 09/05/08
Posts: 73
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You need to leave immediately. Grab your kids things and go. If he's started to verbally abuse them, you have to get out of there as that will permanently damage them.... you have to go for your safety.
What's to stop him from hitting you guys? He obviously has anger problems, possibly some mental instability, and you never can tell how people like that will act.
By PFA I think you mean a restraining order? If so, yes, you can file it. You have to show proof, maybe some pics of beaten walls, broken things. Maybe a witness who has seen this from him, or heard him verbally abuse you and your children. You tell them you are afraid for you and your children, its not likely they'll turn that down.
Before you serve him the papers, be sure to get out and stay somewhere safe. You don't serve the papers, in some states you're not allowed. I'd either have the police do it (some will for free), or hire a server. DO NOT tell him you're filing, get out first.
Please be safe,
--------------------
Pamela
Do-It-Yourself Divorce
http://document-do-it-yourself-service.com/
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