ohstatebuckeye
Silver
Reged: 07/22/08
Posts: 97
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My stbx wants to make his own visitation he does not want to go by the Ohio guide lines. Just seeing what he doing now I really think we need to go by Ohio guidelines. Like today I called him about our oldest grades and I said the kids will be ready after work and he said I'll be there when I get there. He does not want to be told what to do and rebels on everything. I think it a good idea so the kids will know what time and day he is comming. I know he will fight me tooth and nail on this. He asked my about Thanksgiving and I said I think I got to work but your more than welcome to have the kids and he said he wasn't sure of his plans yet. His lawyer told him that we have to put the guideline down when we file and in the same breath he said we didn't have to go by it. My question is if I fight for the ohio guideline and it in the papers does he have to go by that. I just want my kids have an idea when and what time when he comming not when he feels like it and a certian time where there not waiting hours.
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Jada
Platinum
Reged: 06/02/07
Posts: 3463
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The courts aren't just going to allow him to show up when he feels like it.
If he doesn't want the guidelines, then he needs to present a different plan for consideration. And one that is vague on pick-up and drop-off times is not acceptable.
There's nothing wrong with flexibility as long as it is reasonable and the kids aren't left hanging for hours waiting for Dad to show up.
Next time it is time for him to have the kids, tell him what time that you will have the kids ready. Let him say he will get there when he gets there. And when he is 20 minutes late, go out with the kids and do something fun.
If he says anything about it, simply tell him that you waited 20 minutes for him to show up. He didn't, so you left. If he has a problem with that, he should be on time the next time.
It will eventually sink in that he can't just show up when he feels like it.
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beachgirl
Gold
Reged: 11/05/06
Posts: 135
Loc: FL
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Have you read Ohio's guidleines? Florida's allows for a set waiting period for pickup by the NCP, but also states that if the NCP has a work delay and notifies the CP, then that is considered reasonable notice.
No matter what type of visitation schedule you end up getting (we did 50/50 very open and then he requested to switch to standard) the CP cannot make the NCP pick up the children or spend time with them if they choose not to do so.
I suggest you review the ones for your state and then propose a modification of them to your STBX to best meet your children's needs. Ask him to do the same and see if you can agree on what is best for the kids. For example, our daughter's birthday is a holiday. We made sure that both agreements had the holiday/birthday with the same parent unlike the FL guidelines which goes by odd/even years and would have conflicted.
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HELLDOG488
Platinum
Reged: 07/01/08
Posts: 262
Loc: oh
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DONT do the flexiable thing. As in my other post i now have to waste even more $$$$$ and time to go back to court and try to get some stability since she wont do anything on time.
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I've done my time and i want out.
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beachgirl
Gold
Reged: 11/05/06
Posts: 135
Loc: FL
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I'm sorry that your ex won't cooperate. My point was that no matter what schedule she gets if he does not want to be on time, she (or a court schedule) can't make him. Both parents have to cooperate for ANY type of schedule to work. No different than being married and having a parent who would change plans with a child when they got a better offer (i.e. golf) or always be late picking them up.
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dramanomore
Gold
Reged: 09/24/08
Posts: 170
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You need some kind of structure and order in your life and so do your kids.
You need to set up a firm visitation schedule with holiday, vacation and sick days laid out. You need it to specify times and days and also how long he has to cancel or what to do in case where he doesn't show. Also, you might want to add a stipulation that says he doesn't within the hour and has made no prior arrangement the visitation is considered canceled.
In the best case, parents work together and come up with a visitation schedule that works for them and the children. And, with time as the hurt and anger lessen yall may get there.
But, it is good to have a structure to work from and a base to begin with. So when all else fails you can default to the judgement.
Chance are if he is fighting you right now with structure, he will also fight the visitation schedule. I would recommend meeting with your attny and getting a detailed schedule drawn up. Try mediation and/or sending the agreement to his attny. And, if he refuses to sign, then take it before a judge.
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