Divorce Support Forums: Need Some Guidance (LONG)

My wife and I have been together for 4 years, married for 3. She left me in Aug 2005 and moved in with her parents in Wa. Later that month, her mother came and took some things she wanted. I was forced to move out of the trailer we were renting togehter due to my not working, (was injured on the job and am currently disabled as a result). I moved into a cheaper trailer and got on welfare. Her name has never been on my lease, nor will it ever be. Then in Oct 2005, she and her mother came and picked up some more of her things. She returned in Feb 2006, picked me up and went to file taxes. She filed head of household and claimed my son, (her stepson), and I haven't seen any of the money. According to the IRS, she didn't qualify to file either. Shortly after, she moved to Id. Approx 4 months later she moved back to her parents in Wa, which is where she is currently at. I have asked her several times to come and pick up the rest of her things from before we got married. I sent her a certified letter stating such. She wants access to my home to take what she wants, not what i'm willing to give. She claims that ALL the kitchen items are hers. She has sent me an e-mail a few weeks ago that she was going to file for divorce, (which she hasn't yet), and that she only wanted her maiden name back. Now she wants everything.

There has been a lot of mental abuse from her to me and my son, (her stepson). There has been a few physical incidents towards me as well, and from her mom towards my son, (I just found out about that). There has been a threat from her brother towards me, so I'm going to file for a restraining order against the whole family. I don't want her in my home. Do I have to let her in? I can't afford an atty, and legal aide won't help. Any guidance, help, or advise would be a big help.