1narnara1
Platinum
Reged: 04/28/06
Posts: 3860
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My state is not a no fault state. It still doesn't matter if my spouse cheated or not. Now you just make up reasons for divorce. It is ridiculous either way. We as a society need some advise and instruction on marriage before we get married. Make it a pre requisite to go to counseling before marriage! Now that is an idea.
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I am 40 and I am Fabulous!
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3153
Loc: Colorado
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New York is a no fault state, the only catch is that you have to wait a year to get a no-fault divorce. Most states have a shorter waiting period of 30-90 days.
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1narnara1
Platinum
Reged: 04/28/06
Posts: 3860
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You don't have to wait a year if my stbx makes up lies about why he wants a divorce. He came up with cruel and Inhumab instances against me. 1. I ate pretzels in bed to keep him from getting sleep at night. 2. I burped on occasion 3. I didn't eat any of his birthday cake (which was 6 days after he said he wanted a divorce by the way). 4. I told him his father was a better father then he'd ever be. etc. Do you see where I am going with this? How ridiculous. The reason I was going to use was he refused sex for at least a year.
But you can't use infidelity.
Go figure!@
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I am 40 and I am Fabulous!
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Rhonda
New
Reged: 08/10/06
Posts: 16
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Hello,
My husband is doing the same to me. He's in his fourties and doesn't like his life and suddenly wants to get rid of me. I have agreed to be a stay at home mom and not chase a career because he wanted me to stay home and take care of the house and children. I did because WE decided that he should be the breadwinner. Well, I've done that for fourteen yrs. and he hasn't been able to settle on a carreer. It's been start quit, start this career or that one then quit and try something else for fourteen yrs.! During this time we have moved continuously. Now he's in his 40's and suddenly realizes that he has to plan for retirement. He wants to get rid of me now after I've stayed at home and supported him through all his wanderings. I gave up a career and everything so I could help him. Now he moved the family right across the street from his mother and he doesn't need me anymore-he's got his mother!
He asks me every week just about to get my stuff together and call my mom to come get me. I just tell him no. I'm not leaving without the kids. Then I talk him into not getting a divorce but I don't think it will go on like this forever. He will probably eventualy file no matter how hard I try to make it work.
The thing is he has driven me crazy by all the moving here, moving there, quitting here, quitting there. I've had to be hospitalized. If we divorce I fear that he will get everything! These kids that I've homeschooled and tended to for fourteen yrs. will suddenly be his mother's! They have a nice home here. I told him I'm about ready to take the kids and leave. He says, "This is their home." And it is. But it's not my home anymore.
If I get a job right now the house won't be clean enough and he'll file immediately over that. If I leave he'll file. My sister says I need to talk to legal aid and she gave me the number for it. I called them yesterday. They wanted to know household income. I didn't even know that! Now when he looks at the phone bill he's going to know I called them. There has been physical abuse in the past but none recently. That was four yrs. ago. He's not hitting me anymore but verbally abusing me, telling me I'm fat, using the B word to describe me, calling me lazy and filthy. It seems that no matter how much I clean the house it still isn't clean enough.
rhonda
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tractormom
Silver
Reged: 06/11/07
Posts: 67
Loc: Nassau coutny, NY
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First off let me say YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I have been penniesless as well. I won't bore you with my saga, but the first thing you need to do (if you have'nt already) is retain a lawyer and give him/her the low down on what is happening.
I am looking into filing for welfare and food stamps myself. I am coming down the final stages of my divorce. My ex spent all his money on legal fees, so there will be no alimony for me. He ended up getting phsycial and residental custody of our three kids, so he will not be paying me child support either.
I am in school part-time. I was informed by my lawyer and my counselor that down the road once I have my career going, I will end up owning him alimony and child support.
The first step you should take is filing for food stamps, and welfare.
Tractormom
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