I could use some help. I am handling my own divorce due to lack of funding. My wife's attorney is throwing everything in the book at me and I believe she will request her attorney's fees at the end of the year+ process. My wife has asked the courts to grant a temp restraining order (TRO) not allowing me to see, or talk to, my children. There has not been any violence, aside from a few shouting matches. I also do not qualify (financially) for a pro bono lawyer. Can anyone advise me on how to get up from below this rock and do what is right for the children? My wife is not acting in their best interests and I have been taking the high road to try to be as accommodating as possible throughout the proceedings.
Is there anyone who has been through this before and/or is there an Illinois (DuPage Co.) lawyer who may be willing to help?
I wish I was able to offer some concrete help to you at this time. However, all I can offer you at this time, is to tell you, my divorce was just final on October 30 in Kendall County and mine lasted over 3 years. I ended up firing my attorney and signing an agreement on my own because he was completely wasting my money and not getting anything done. You can do this! Just remember to keep your kids your first priority and don't let your emotions take over your rational thinking. I did that for the better part of my divorce and my two young kids felt it from both of us. I would be willing to chat with you anytime and give you any advice I have or support you may need. I am originally from the Naperville are. So, I do know a little bit about DuPage county too. I wish you well during this hard time. Please don't give up or get too discouraged. As long as we keep our kids best interests, (really) first, we can get through this. Oh, but one more thing, also, don't forget, you and your ex need to make the decisions, not the attorneys.
If your wife is asking for supervised visitation - find the funds. However, there are some things you can do for free:
Mediation - the courts in IL will give you a mediator as soon as you request it. Ask for this since there are no lawyers involved. Actively work to resolve the big issues.
Visitation - unless there was a protection order or police report, this is a scare tactic. The court is going to give you every other weekend and a weeknight. Push for that. Agree to mutual restraining orders for both of you that govern how you talk to one another, not about your time with the kids.
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