***I hope all this makes sense, it's bacially just me typing what comes to my mind***
I've been married since I was 19 (I'm 23 now) and he was 21 (he's 27). We dated for almost 2 years before we got married. We have no children, but do have a 2 year old dog. Everything was perfect, until the 3rd year of our marriage when he started working 2nd shift. This left me home alone everynight with nothing to do but get on the computer. While on the computer, I started logging into chat rooms, etc. where I found myself basically lying and telling people I was single. Fast forward to February of this year. I was at work and a very handsome young guy came in and asked for directions. I gave them to him and we talked for a few minutes before he went about his business. I casually said as he was leaving, "Next time you're in town, stop by and see me." Well he did...and the time after that and the time after that and the time after that. Until finally, we exchanged numbers & have been calling/texting since May. He's also started coming to my job on days my boss is gone & I'm alone. For some reason, I couldn't resisit and I kissed him. And we basically haven't stopped kissing (and doing other things) since then. Just this last week, my husband was out of town visiting a friend so I went over to "Mystery Guys" house and stayed the night and we ended up having sex. My husband has no idea. But this morning for some reason, he found his number in my cell phone. I lied and told him I was bored at work one day and it was on the business card he gave us so I put it in my phone and had forgotten to take it out. I told him it's never been used.
I love my husband, but I don't feel like I'm "in love" with him anymore. I'm not happy. It's weird because for the longest time, all I ever wanted was to get married. And now that I am, I want out. I don't know if it's because a lot of my friends are single & I want the single life again or if it's because of the new guy. I know that if I were to end things with my husband, things with the new guy & I would progress.
I'm scared to tell my husband I want a divorce, because I'm afraid it will leave me with nothing. Our house & my car is in both of our names. I don't want the house, but I do want/need my car. All I ask is I get my car, the dog & the few things that were mine going into the marriage.
Sounds like you didn't want to give your husband a chance to fix your problems or the problem was just on your part. He was at work and you were lonely. If I loved my husband deeply, I would talk to him about my feelings about him working nights and see if that could be changed. If he loves you enough maybe he would be willing to make changes or look for another job. So at the very least you did not love him enough to want to work on things. And that explains your behavior later on. What do you do? You are the one that has to make a decision. You should know if it's your husband that you love or the other guy. Do you like the other guy simply because he's new to you or are there other things about him that make you respect and admire him more than your husband? You should stay away from both of them for a while and sort things out in your heart and mind and then make a decision.
I dont think you want my opioion on this subject. Youre taboo for this other fella. Your very open for some other fella to take advantage of you at a time when things may not be going well at home. If he was any kind of gentleman, he would back off. he may state how wonderful, and pretty and on and on you are, but he should not cross that line of physical contact....even if you are the one that starts it.
He should say that as long as you are married nothing further can be done. If anything, he should back off and let you and your husband work this out.
You also need to open your eyes. The grass is not always greener on the other side. All marriages are going to have problems, there ups and downs. You cannot just take the easy way out. Maybe this other fella is just a player.....so then you will be divorced and no boyfriend either. You better wake up.
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