is it over
Platinum
Reged: 11/19/06
Posts: 331
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So does anyone know of any happy military marriages? Me and my hubby were both active duty and all he did was cheat on me. I finally got sick of it, after 13 years. I mean good God you'd think he'd outgrow that shit.. but no.
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LostHerWay
New
Reged: 07/07/06
Posts: 16
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My parents are going on 29 years of being married. My dad did 20+ years in the air force. I guess it is possible. Unfortunately, my military marriage has failed. I tried to find hope with my parent's marriage, but it didn't work. I am still convinced there are happy military marriages out there.
Best of luck to you!!!!
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InLimbo
Platinum
Reged: 10/27/06
Posts: 868
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My stbx has an aunt and uncle that have been married like 45 years. He was in the Air Force. Lifer. He is now retired. They do everything together. I saw her right before my husband and i split. She told me that in their entire marriage that only one time she joined a choir on her own. He missed her so much that three weeks later he joined. They still belong to that choir. I just thought that was so beautiful. You can see that they love each other very much.
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Love like you have never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching and sing like nobody's listening.
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lovemysd
Bronze
Reged: 08/28/06
Posts: 29
Loc: California
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To: Is it over
I'm sorry you've had such a difficult time with your marriage. Not all military men are pigs (same as not all military women are sl*ts).
I've been married to my military man (US Marine) for over 11 years and we are doing great. I'm on this site because his ex is looney and I try to get support/opinions about the ongoing custody issues we face with my stepdaugters.
I think the key to success in any marriage is two-way communication. It's not always easy (deployments, field exercises, etc) but as long as we communicate about the things going on in our lives we are fine. He's my hero, my best friend and a great guy! He loves his kids and does everything he can to keep them (and me) safe and happy.
We have lots of friends who are dual-career military couples and they are thriving. Being military just adds an additional, sometimes more difficult, aspect to marriage but it certainly doesn't doom it to failure.
Best of luck to you. Thank you for your service to our fine country.
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adrenaline
Platinum
Reged: 03/21/06
Posts: 3892
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That is a great story I wish you all the luck.
Mike
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The problem isn't the game; it is that nobody knows the rules.
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imamrs2
Silver
Reged: 08/18/06
Posts: 95
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I have been married to my marine for nine years. I agree that communication is the key. I knew going into the marriage that my husband was going to make a career out of the military. It is a lot of give and take. My dh is my best friend. I am grateful because we have moved a lot and seen much. I actually enjoy being a military wife. Now, on the other hand, his ex (only married to the woman five years) hated the military life. She considers anyone serving in the military a killer and so beneath her. She has passed that opinion onto my stepson. I have heard him say more than once how he is ashamed of what his Dad does.
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is it over
Platinum
Reged: 11/19/06
Posts: 331
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You know what.. I was being stupid and selfish when I wrote that post, and babyish. Of course there are good marriages in the military. Mine just wasn't one of them. I have alot of love for the military in general.. it gave me a great start in life and I wouldn't be where I am today without it.
Rock on all you women and men that are happily married to soliers/sailors/marines/airmen...
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Poetvisions
Gold
Reged: 12/01/06
Posts: 135
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You weren't being either "stupid" or "selfish", you were being human. It seems that others just told you what you already knew to be true:) I'm sorry your marriage didn't work out, but I bet it was the ride of a lifetime! And, you're here now meeting all of us;)
P
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lifeinva13
New
Reged: 12/31/06
Posts: 3
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I've had many, many friends divorce in the military. My husband has cheated on me several times, although denied it and pledged his love to me and my kids every time. He has been overseas now for six weeks, and I just received word from an airman that my husband is having and affair with this guy's wife while they are both serving in Afghanistan. This is ridiculous.
There have been many happy times, or when I felt happy . Clearly, my husband was waiting to get away so he could fulfill his desires. If anyone can relate, please write.
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viper
Bronze
Reged: 06/04/06
Posts: 41
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OH,lifeinva13, I know your pain, I was/am in somewhat of the same place, married to a marine for 13 yrs to find out he was cheating during deployments while I stayed home and supported him and never strayed.My life was shattered.. but here is the thing about looking for support from the USMC...unless you can prove by photo or your husband admits to having sex with this woman no action will be taken. Here is the other thing ... they are sent on deployment with [censored] and condoms and with the line of.. "what happens on deployment stayes on deployment"
If you would like to talk more you cam pm me. I will be happy to help and support......
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 5139
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My aunt & uncle were both military. When they met, he was a widower with several children an she was a nurse. They married and were together through retirement. He was a wonderful man and never considered cheating or acting like a jerk with regard to her. He treated his wife like a princess, and so did all his boys. She was and is their mother, and their children's grandmother.
They both believed the military demanded that they act with honor, and they continued that into their personal lives.
I guess some may feel the need to let loose in their personal lives, others are like my aunt & uncle. Neither my aunt nor my uncle were saints, but if my marriage and the last half of my life is anywhere near as wonderful as thiers was, I'll know I've lived a happy life!
Gigi
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cutishka
New
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 19
Loc: Massachusetts
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no you weren't being stupid and selfish when you wrote that post. I feel the same way you do and had the same question!
I know military couples who have stayed married all their lives (my grandparents),I applaud them, but i know sooo many military couples who have divorced(such as myself), and it's usually because of cheating.
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snickers1818
New
Reged: 01/25/07
Posts: 15
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Hello everyone, I am so glad that this forum exists! I am happily married to a soldier in the Army. I want to say first of all that I am sorry to the women/men on here whose marriages did not work out. I know a lot of women/men here where we are stationed that have had the same issues and I feel sorry for them. My husband was married to a woman who did not like the military life either so they divorced. It is sad because they have two little girls that deserve so much in this life but it would have been worse for them had their parents stayed married. I love my husband with all of my heart and hope the best for everyone on here!
Deployments are EXTREMELY hard to deal with but if the wife or husband really cares about the marriage, they will get through it just fine. We did and I gave birth to our daughter just 11 days after he left in 2004 to go to Iraq. It was a very tough year for me but we made it through so everyone has their obstacles in front of them but it can be overcome!
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LostHerWay
New
Reged: 07/07/06
Posts: 16
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I don't want to sound mean, but if you have such a great marriage snickers, how come you are looking through military divorce forums??
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snickers1818
New
Reged: 01/25/07
Posts: 15
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I am on here because I wanted to ask other people that are in the military how they go about dealing with child support and custody being in the military. Is there another thread for the military?
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ArmyLoser
New
Reged: 07/26/07
Posts: 2
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I'm sure that there are some happy marriages in the military, but as soon as my husband went active duty, ours went downhill. He started drinking-heavily, (as do most of his friends in the military), secret phone calls on his military cell, long hours,etc, etc. Part of this is my stupidity for trusting him, but anyway, after 5 yrs of all this he finally left me. As things turn out he was cheating on me w/one of the female soldiers he works with. Does anyone know how the military feels about this? People who work together everyday, having a relationship? One that broke up a family. I am very bitter about the military after all the hurt that I have been through.
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ariesapie
New
Reged: 07/31/07
Posts: 14
Loc: south jersey
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wow! i totally feel your pain!! that sounds exactly what happened to me... the military has the policy of unless you have concrete proof then it never happened. my ex was cheating on me with a female soldier who was cheating her soldier husband in Iraq! my ex cheated on me for years with hookers and made internet profiles on dating websites but i thought he would grow out of it, i made excuses for him all the time. but the old addage goes.. once a cheater always a cheater. i will never marry anyone in the military again
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ArmyLoser
New
Reged: 07/26/07
Posts: 2
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Just wondering, did you let his commanding officer know about what happened? Do you know if it even matters? I would love to get him & her in some kind of trouble, but if he's not working I lose also. How long were you married for? Children involved? Thanks for your reply. It feels better knowing I'm not the only person in this situation.
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again
New
Reged: 08/12/07
Posts: 1
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So I don't know much about this at all, I was just wondering what I can do...my husband went on deployment and big surprise cheated on me with one of the girls he works with i have pics of them together, one of them together on the ship they were deployed on. He keeps telling me if I divorce him I get nothing...is this true??
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