va/tngirl
Gold
 
Reged: 11/23/06
Posts: 181
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DW, I think that you need to take the time to find yourself....
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va/tngirl
Gold
 
Reged: 11/23/06
Posts: 181
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[quote] If there are no children involved and she is the jealous type, sure, get divorced. It will be cheaper than waiting to have a child to help strengthen the marriage.
In my opinion a child does not strengthen a marriage. A child is a blessing but can be he-- on a marriage. Don't get me wrong...I love my children more than anything in the world and their father does also...they are the best thing that I ever did...but it does not help in a marriage...the added stress of having another person to take care of causes lots of problems to a marriage if that marriage does not have stability.
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Doublewide
New
Reged: 10/15/06
Posts: 9
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A brief update. 1. My spouse has said I can come back, but some changes have to be made(to be defined. 2. Counselor, has told us to comunitcate from the heart.
I know my daughter would be estatic if I was back at home instead of the breif visits (overnight). But neither us us would want a short term solution. I do not want to be policed, as that would be doomed to failure (imo). And after all this time, the feelings are not the same between us, (how can they be?)
Perhpas part of reconcilliation will be reveling my post's here?
But I feel that I have to get support somewhere, but shouldn't that need be aknowledged by my wife?
My wife has been in contact with the op, she admitted she was trying to get at them and did'nt see why they should have a Merry Xmas. Will this never end???
Thanks for reading
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newin07
Platinum

Reged: 11/24/06
Posts: 486
Loc: NY
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"So my wife has every reason to be suspicious of me, yet I don't feel suspicious of her even though of the way we met. "
Was your current wife married to someone else at the time you began "communicating intimately?"
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adrenaline
Platinum
 
Reged: 03/21/06
Posts: 3892
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You can't live your life worried about what we say here. You have to do what you have to do and in the end if you make it work we will all be happy.
If you do go for the councelling make sure she does too.
I think that way you both can really tell your feelings to someone objective. As you need support so does she don't forget that.
I am pro marriage if you can make it work. I couldn't because my wife was promisuous. I hope you can keep it cool and work it out.
Thanks for the update. Even if you do work it out and need a little pat on the back come back here I will listen.
Good Luck I am rooting for you.
-------------------- The problem isn't the game; it is that nobody knows the rules.
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ztstar
New
Reged: 12/31/06
Posts: 4
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If you read my post, you will find that its a road to heartache. This is inappropriate behavior plain and simple. If you don't think there is anything wrong with what your doing, then tell your wife of you intentions. I promise you, she will not agree to it. It just puts you in a situation where it give you the opportunity if it presents itself. Fidelity is a basic tenant of a committed relationship. If you want to see other women, then you need to re-examine your motives for being married in the first place. Maybe your not ready for a committed relationship with another person
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