delirious
New
Reged: 06/03/06
Posts: 19
Loc: Portland, OR
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Hello, to any Oregonians reading this, just a little intro.
I'm filing my papers this week after a 4 year separation and I'm a little anxious. Not that I don't want the divorce, it's just the whole legal finality of it. Does that make sense?
Anyway, just wanted to open up the Oregon board - hoping I'm not alone here......
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DaCa01
Bronze
Reged: 05/07/06
Posts: 40
Loc: Oregon
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Hi delirious,
I am in Portland also. You are not alone. This is a good place with a lot of great people that offer their support. I am new to all this. I have only been separated from my wife for a month now. We haven’t filed for divorce yet but it will be soon. I hope everything goes all right with filing your papers and you get everything worked out with the kids. I admire you for what you are doing. We don’t have kids so I can’t imagine how difficult it is. Wish I could answer some of your questions but I am sure there will be someone here who can.
Take care.
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delirious
New
Reged: 06/03/06
Posts: 19
Loc: Portland, OR
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Thanks for the welcome! I've been reading a lot of others' posts and, even though this is a sad and rough time for everyone, it really does make me feel better that I'm not the only one having these issues or emotions. What is that, misery loves company? LOL Maybe we just like to feel like we're not on some phychological deserted island.
I hope all goes well for you - though I do have to say you can look at the bright side and know that you're lucky you two don't have kids in the mix. It would have been so much better had we figured that out before we had kids. Hindsight's always 20/20... Moving forward....
Thanks again for the welcome! And you take care, too, as best the situation can warrant.
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blindsighted1
Bronze
Reged: 05/27/06
Posts: 33
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Wow, a 4 year separation. Ouch! I can't imagine. I found our April 29, 2006 that my husband was having an affair and my divorce will be final any day! Whoo-hoo! How's that for speedy?
I am out in Yamhill county near McMinnville, so a fellow Oregonian here.
I hope all goes well for you and that you have the strength and clarity to get through this difficult time!
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delirious
New
Reged: 06/03/06
Posts: 19
Loc: Portland, OR
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Thanks for the encouragement - guess what - I still haven't filed!! LOL!! Little issue I forgot about with the house and my entitlement...that sort...then finals, then vacation, then life again....seems like filing the papers just gets pushed to the back burner most times. Too bad there isn't some commonlaw divorce after so long. :o)
Glad yours went quickly!!
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Gecko
New
Reged: 06/27/06
Posts: 24
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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I've known several people who separated, but never got around to getting a divorce since the only REAL reason you would need to is to get remarried and nobody cares if you "live" with someone.
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All opinions are personal and not to be used in lieu of legal counsel.
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scundra36
New
Reged: 08/13/06
Posts: 2
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I have Had a horrible Ten year marriage, but I will do it all over to Have my two boys. Don't look at the negative . How blessed are you to have two beautiful children. It is tougher than hell having to put children through this kind of pain but sometimes divorce is the only way to save your children, And teach them how to have self respect and value themselves as good people.And its not ok to cheat or disrespect women. If I can teach one thing to my boys is that people and women are valuable .
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mentheboys
New
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 18
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Just a note from experience. Please for youre own sake and the kids do NOT assume that the ex will be nice and fair. I did that and was left in a poor spot but thanks to my parents we are getting along. If you have gone on ( seeing someone else he may bring that up in a custody dispute if that applies,,, that does not matter. the ex may also ask for everything and that you take the bills.. not fair make sure if you are the on that gets the kids that you have some stuff washer dryer fridge. My ex got all that but didnt need it ( was renting a furnished place from his attorney) Make sure he is off the accounts. You plan to keep and that it is stated the one person cannot charge on the credit of the other , my ex did that to even though he wasnt supposed to. he lied to his attorney and said it was his credit card. Not sure what youre situation is but protect yourself yes you can do this without being greedy.. Remember what you had before the marriage is yours.Everything should be split equally but sometimes in the state of mind you will be in at the time you may overlook that . I did all I was worried about was custody of my kids. If you need to sent me a note.
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left_behind
New
Reged: 01/29/07
Posts: 3
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I am lost down here in Roseburg, OR. 3 weeks ago, out of nowhere, my husband walked in and said he wanted to separate and that he has been seeing someone. After 15 yrs. of marriage I had NO idea this was coming! I moved 8 times in those 15 yrs. to several different states because of his job promotions. But it was OK because I loved him. I could never get anywhere in a job because we never lived anywhere long enough. But it was OK because I loved him. Now he's off with his girlfriend, and me and our 2 daughters (14 & 16) are left to sell the house and scramble to put our lives in some sort of order. I need someone to tell me that everything is gonna be OK. Any words of wisdom are appreciated!
Thanks.
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1narnara1
Platinum
Reged: 04/28/06
Posts: 3860
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I was left after 16 years. I have 2 children also. You are in for a fight. Roll up your sleeves and get it over with as soon as possible. Get yourself and kids into counseling. This is a miserable event. I knew nothing of my stbx having an affair for the last 11 years. I just cound out 2 months ago and he asked for a divorce 10 months ago. This is a rollercoaster ride from hell. I don't wish it on anyone. Hang in there. post, rant, ask advice here. It helps alot.
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I am 40 and I am Fabulous!
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