I am 40, male, and find myself going through the hardest of times in a divorce that is a result of multiple affairs, and what I have learned to understand to be years of abuse. It's a long story, but I'll try to give a cliff notes version:
Back in 8/06 I found out about an affair. During the week thereafter, through talking to her friends I discovered what appeared to be a pattern of bizarre storiries that told me there was a lot more going on than just the affair. Mental instability. It was because of that I chose to welcome her back home (she came) and I forgave, trying to get her help to deal with what was going on. As it turned out, the 4 months post August she got involved with "swinger" sites on the web and engaged in multiple affairs while pretending to be working through this with me. She has been taking , and in my opinion addicted to, Phentermine (prescription narcotic/amphetamine diet pills) for 13 months now. I believe, based on the research I have done, that they have affected her already diminished capacity to reason clearly.
Through all of this discovery, I had to eventually file (Dec. 7) and pursue full custodianshoip of my 7 yr. girl. She has sent photos of her to men she has met through these said sites, she has, for years been a terrible parent.
Every aspect of her life is tragically out of control right now. She (over the summoer of '06) opened a p.o. box and amassed $13k in hidden c. cared debt (all at 30%-bad credit, and all in her name only). After filing, she opened her own checking act, and 2 months later she is getting overdraft notices (-$277 as of yesterday!) and every single credit account she has is maxed out/over limit/ late!
She has "involved" herself with upwards of ten men in the past 3 months. No doubt looking for sombody to take her in and support her as she is broke withno real earning potential...She lied to me for 13 years about having a college degree (she doesn't) and has never made above $12/hr.
Her sister and mother support me, every adult association we hase shared supports me.
I have been a good husband and father, despite her attempts at lableing me "controlling" and emotionally abusive. The only thing I EVER stressed about was her abuse of c. cards and poor money mgt. As I usually earned 3-4 times her (joint inc.= $85k) but we never made it past paycheck to paycheck.
With my daughter's well being at stake, as well as my financial future in the ballance, I feel very afraid af the outcome. I can tell myself, and be told how strong my case is, but she throws things at me that I dont know if are true or not...telling me "how screwed" I am going to be, threatening with bogus calls to police about nonexisting events, ...
The icicng on the cake is that she refuses to leave my house! I have to live with the animal!
Any offers of support, advice, things to document for the court, things I need to make sure this "goes in my favor" would be a huge stress relief...
Thanks
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