Jessica wall
New
Reged: 03/11/07
Posts: 10
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I have been seperated from my STBX since July of 2006. He has been an active [censored] addict/drinker since I have been with him. We have a 3 year old son together, he hardly ever sees him and when he does call to get him, he never follows through with picking him up. Last night, he sent his grandmother to get him because of a "flat tire". Well, come to find out around 10pm, he never showed up to get him. So I went to his grandmothers house and got him at 2 am this morning. My STBX was high as a kite, I have documenting all of this for the past 6 months. My question is, Do I have the legal right to keep my son from him while he is in the active state of drug use? He also hasn't been financially helpful either. I have filed for bankuptcy, sold our house and moved on with my life. We were going to do an uncontested divorce because that is all we could afford, but I am almost willing to go to court because I know that with his history, I could get supervised visitation. How smart would this be? Really need some help here. Thank you.
Jessica
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KGrow
Platinum
Reged: 01/27/06
Posts: 3109
Loc: Colorado
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"My question is, Do I have the legal right to keep my son from him while he is in the active state of drug use?"
Yes absolutely, but not without due process. You will need to present evidence of his abuse. Incidents of abuse in the presence of his son will be most compelling as will evidence from neutral third parties i.e. police reports.
It is possible supervised visits will be imposed. Of he'll be required to take drug tests as a condition for visitation.
I don't think you'll get very far with any of this without the help of a lawyer.
If you're successful in putting restrictions on his visitation, it's likely that he'll forgo visitations altogether. Oh wait, he's already forgoing visitation.
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Jessica wall
New
Reged: 03/11/07
Posts: 10
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My question is, how do I prove that he is a danger, what kind of evidence do I need? The other day when he had his grandmother pick my son up instead of him because he was out smoking dope, is that evidence? He is on probation for a drug charge and had been to 9 rehabs, also I have witness accounts of him using, and incidents where his using caused him be missing for hours at a time. I do not have any police reports about his using because whenever he got his first hit, he would turn off his cell phone and could not be found for hours at a time. Also, what does abandon mean? He has maintained phone contact sparatically and I took my son to see STBX while he was in Rehab. But he does give montary support since he left or has paid any bills, ect. I could afford to start my divorce if he would pay some sort of child support, but my attorney that I will be using said not to try to get any support until I file for divorce, I am in a big circle and can't get out.
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gigi
Platinum
Reged: 11/06/06
Posts: 4836
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you need to find a way to get this going. Get a cash advance on a credit card or something, pay the lawyer & go forward. Talk to another lawyer before you decide for sure on this one, though. Just to see if you can find someone who will work with you. Money will be tight and child support will not start until you get this started.... and that's IF he follows through on child support. If he's such a raging addict, his ability to pay may be compromised. He'll OWE it to you, but collections are not a guarantee.
Once you get the divorce started, ask for temporary orders (or separation orders, whatever your state calls it). This will set the conditions for parenting time, who lives where, and what kind of temporary support you'll be getting. Before the judge makes temporary orders, tell the judge waht you know about your ex's drug abuse and ask for him to be drug tested before he's allowed to see your child, and that will make it happen... the evidence you need is just enough ot get random drug tests... you don't need enough to prosecute him in criminal court for using. And you'll probably have to go through drug testing also, so make certain you're 100% clean. The court doesnt' much care what a parent does on thier own time, but they won't take kindly to it if the parent's recreational activities get in the way of thier time with the child, endanger the child (by virtue of dangerous companions in their lives) or if they're high when they see the child.
Oh, and no more letting him send other people to pick up the child for him. You need to see him, face to face, smell his breath, see his eyes and make certain he's not high before he visits.
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Jessica wall
New
Reged: 03/11/07
Posts: 10
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I appreciate the advice. I pretty much have given my ex enough rope to hang himself. I just gotta get the money up for the lawyer now, mine is willing to work me with financially so that's a plus. I was just wondering if I do not let him pick up my son, can that be held against me when it comes to the divorce?
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