Divorce Support Forums: Verbally abusive husband

Now he's at work and I can type all I want without being policed. Yeah, he nuts up if I tell anyone anything about what he does. He always forgets to include his actions in whatever he goes around telling everyone about me.
He's tried to his hardest to get my family and my friends to turn against me. He has no problem with that. There's nothing I wouldnt put passed him.
This last saturday I got went out with a girlfriend for a drink. One Drink. Mainly because for the last six yrs he hasnt taken me anywhere but the grocery store.
His friends are his friends... he hates all of mine. But he won't include me in any of his plans. Not even once in awhile. Half the people he knows and does things with have never even seen me if they even know i exist at all. They never come over when i'm home and i'm never invited to anything. When he goes he picks a fight and leaves and goes alone. God only knows what those people think of me.
So anyway ... the whole time we were out he kept calling my cell phone asking me who i was **cking and telling me to answer my phone and calling me a lying [censored]. I finally came home after a text message he sent me about going through all my stuff. I got home and he had ripped out my dresser drawers from both dressers and thrown everything on the floor. All my clothes were torn off the hangers and thrown about the room and any baskets of hairclips and jewlery ect...were dumped out too. My bedroom literally looked like the after math of a tornado.
He's been threatening to move out for months..(about 3) and put all his things in storage. Meanwhile he just uses all my stuff and depreciates my things but never replaces any of it. He smashes my stuff..he hides my keys and phone. He 's even tried locking me out of the house.
When I try to leave he lays on the hood of my car. He's even gone as far as to jack my car up in the driveway and take the wheels off.
He tried to prevent me from leaving one night by locking the bedroom door and wrestling me to the bed to lay on me while my daughter was beating on the bedroom door. I told her to calm down and that he wasnt doing anything to me but laying on me so i couldnt leave and to go call her dad.
As soon as my ex pulled up in the driveway he jumped off me and ran to the other end of the house like it was all a big lie. He dangerous. But i'm so fed up with it i fight back. I used to just sit around and cry. Felt it was hopeless. That I was hopeless. He's got my family convinced if it werent for him i couldnt take care of myself. My grandmother worries about my mother because she's an alcoholic and been one her whole life. Since I look so much like her i suppose my grandma worries about me turning out like her. My mothers been in and out of the hospital from having seizures from her alcohol abuse. I rarely drink..and when i do I don't get drunk. My father is the same way. I never hear from either of them. My mom left me with my step dad and 1/2 brother when i was 10 and until last year, i hadnt seen my biological father since I was 8...or talked to him. He looked me up.
My boyfriend knows this...so he uses this as a tool with my grandmother that i'm just like my mother. It sickens me. He knows my relationship with my grandmother is precious to me and he's ruined it. He gloats like a pig too. The smirk on his face is enough to make my skin crawl.
See he used to control me with his money... and now that he can't...i have a state job now...he's desperate for control. I used to put up with his shit because i had to. He takes back things he's bought me for xmas and bday. 2 out of the six yrs we've been together. He's a holiday hater. If it werent for me ...his kids wouldnt get anything for easter or xmas. He'd rather spend his money on cars and motorcycles. He buys nothing for the house. It's always me. He pays the rent. Thats about it. Sometimes he buys food but he buys junk food and crap only he eats. He does the dishes 1/2 assed once in a great while. It takes an act of god for him to do anything around here but lay on his back. He never finishes the dishes...they always end up sitting in the sink floating in dirty water until i get so sick of waiting days for him to finish them i do them myself. That's womans work.
He's got court coming up next month for domestic battery in the presence of a child. He told me 6 mos ago that if i didnt take care of it with the prosecuting attorney he would make sure i was living in the street. He threatened me until i went and talked to them. His court date keeps on getting rescheduled. The incident happened almost 2 yrs ago. I think they are trying to get it thrown out of court, him and his attorney. He's been trying to get me to do stupid things like slap him. He's very antagonistic. Not allowing me to leave and get away from him when we are arguing. He took my cell phone from me one night and kept holding it above my head. So i grabbed the collar of his coat and kept jerking on it...he threw me across the room on my head. I ended up getting my phone back though but not before he grabbed my arm and twisted it behind my back pushing on my elbow the wrong way and forcing my head to hit the floor. It almost knocked me out...but i managed to pull my phone from his pocket as he did this. I should have called the cops on him. He tells me he'll have someone take care of my worthless ass if i do.
Anything I told him in confidence he went around and told anyone who would listen. Embellishing it of course. I hated him for that. I feel like I have to sleep with one eye open.
After he'd been sleeping on the couch for about 4 days he says all smug like one day.." so are you getting tired of sleeping by yourself yet?" my reply was .." no..it's been kind of nice not having to listen to you snore, grunt and moan all night in your sleep. I've rather enjoyed it. Why is that some form of punishment? Is that what you are doing is punishing me?" and i laughed. How stupid. By all means. Sleep on the couch!!!
So back to my bedroom....after i spent two hours cleaning up the mess...i made sure to take pics with my cell phone, He had the nerve to come up and give me a kiss and says.."you know i love you don't you?" say what?? I wanted to run right out the door? Love ? you must be kidding. I didnt kiss him back. My lips were lifeless and my reply was .."UH...No."
So last night he starts in on the " well if you hate me ..i might as well leave" bullshit again. Another attempt at manipulation. Usually I would respond with ..."well i guess so..it's not like you love us anyway." or..."can't you just be nice to me?"... I realized that might be taken as a guilt thing...even though it really used to hurt to think that i never really meant anything to him.That that was all there ever was. I don't want him think I want him to stay. So i tried something different. " Yeah i agree. We just will never communicate effectively or get along. We are incompatable..maybe it's time you moved on. Find someone you really care about." HA...like that will ever happen. Someone to be like your mother and be treated like a servant and a tramp. Good luck! He's trying to make me feel sorry for him., He wants me to ask him not to sleep on the couch...or leave me. But it's not going to happen. He just won't leave.